An Open Letter To Music Streaming Services On Behalf Of Classical Music Fans
Hello there, Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora, and other streaming services!
We need to talk about how you stream classical music because, well, it sucks. It really, REALLY sucks.
First, there's the ongoing difficulty of determining who's the "artist" in classical music.
So let's say you're listening to Lang Lang and an unfamiliar piece comes up. How do you know who it's by if the composer isn't listed anywhere?
Look! So simple.
You are driving us CRAZY.
So please work on that, because we DO NOT LIKE IT.
Maybe you guys could just focus on fixing the little things, like the artwork for this piece played by Solomon.
He actually looks like this.
There's quite a bit of mistaken identity in streaming services, too. Kim Kashkashian is a lovely lady, but she's not quite at Kim KarDASHian levels.
Just Google this shit. Seriously. It's an easy fix.
You guys need to start actually catering to classical music fans. Who is actively seeking out music for their elevator rides?!
And Apple Music, your starter selection of classical composers and artists is somewhat questionable. Why are they including The Piano Guys alongside greats like Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma?
Maybe y'all can make a separate category called "Classical Lite" for casual fans who want the most watered down version of classical music.
Because if you do that, you can avoid ridiculous errors. You know, like how the first track of the "Intro to Jessye Norman" playlist DOESN'T HAVE JESSYE NORMAN ON IT.
A real human would never let a Brubaker piece into the "Intro to John Cage" playlist.
It's so fucking frustrating!
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