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27 Things You'll Only Understand If You Grew Up In Glasgow

The Time Capsule was the place to be.

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1. Having a birthday party at Little Marco's was pure dead brilliant.

Doing the conga with Little Marco himself felt like such an honour at the time.

2. But if you had a party at the Time Capsule, you instantly became a class legend.

Whether you were swimming or ice skating, this place was the pinnacle of cool.

3. Clyde 1 is the world's greatest radio station.

OK, slight exaggeration, but those fond memories of trips to the local Kwik Save soundtracked by the likes of Deacon Blue, Texas, and Del Amitri will last forever.


5. New Lanark was one of the most boring school trips ever.

So. Much. Wool.

6. Whereas the People's Palace was one of the best.

The Single End exhibition was cool, but really you just wanted to see the Big Yin's Banana Boots.

7. This is the best alcoholic beverage known to man.

You'll pretend you drink it "ironically" now, but really you've loved it for years.

8. Taking your empty ginger bottles to the van to get some swedgers was a daily ritual.

Whether you fancied a dolly mixture and a packet of Space Raiders, or the summer classic "99 wae raspberry", those bottles were a legit form of currency.


9. Going to M&D's was the highlight of your summer.

The Tornado, the Kamikaze, White Water. Boredom just didn't exist here. Let's face it: Loudoun Castle was good, but it wasn't M&D's good.

10. Chewin' The Fat was the greatest TV show in recorded history.

From "gonnae no dae that?" to "I smell shite", the show was your go-to for comedic gold.

11. And you used this efficient method to bring the new kid at school up to speed.

Ratings were heavily based on which football team each kid supported.

12. Swear words can be used interchangeably as both insults and terms of endearment.

It all depends on your tone of voice.


13. Bonfire Night meant going to the Green for the carnival, toffee apples, and (of course) the fireworks.

You might still go now but it'll never be as good as when you were wee.

14. And the Irn-Bru Carnival was an essential Christmas tradition.

Year after year, you were reminded that going on the waltzers after a jumbo hot dog and a full bag of candy floss was bad idea. Year after year, you did it anyway.

15. All your favourite popstars only played here so you had to beg and plead with your parents to take you.

You'd long grown out of Disney on Ice and The Singing Kettle. You wanted to see Steps, goddamnit!

16. That excitement you felt whenever you saw the Barrowland Ballroom sign lit up.

You didn't actually go to any shows until you were old enough, but when you did, you fell in love with the place the way every true Weegie does.


17. And that screaming this over and over was the only way to truly enjoy a gig.

You saved your "Wan mer CHOON!" patter for the encore.

18. Going to the Barras was a fun weekly family tradition, despite being a wee bit jakey.

Where else could you get a bag of freshly made doughnuts, an old vintage chest of drawers, and "TWOFURRAPOUND" sports socks mere metres from one another?

19. That grown-up feeling you had when you started "gaun tae the dancin'".

Whether it was Archaos or the Cathouse, nothing beat the adult-supervised independence of the "unders" club nights.


21. Saturday trips to the "pictures" meant arguing with your pals over the Odeon vs. UGC (Cineworld).

Though, as it turned out, you wouldn't have the Odeon for much longer. 😭

22. And this is the place your pal played that one time when he was in that mad band.

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Before they covered the window, you always caught a lovely view of the drummer's backside when nipping outside for a fag.

23. Tunnock's Teacakes are little bites of heaven wrapped in foil.

The factory is just down the road, so you were understandably horrified that time your mum brought home some own-brand rip-offs from Asda. Sacrilege!

24. The sound of the Hampden roar never fails to give you goosebumps.

At Scotland games, you'd be decked out in typical Tartan Army get-up: Saltire face paint, a "See You Jimmy" hat, and a flag as a cape.


25. Going to Millport for the day was considered a proper holiday.

Ferry rides, bike rides, joke shops, fish suppers by the sea, and a big rock shaped like a crocodile. What's not to love?

26. The view over the Kingston Bridge is always an amazing sight, no matter how often you cross it.

Even when you were a wee bairn it made you proud to be a Weegie. So breathtaking.

27. And Irn-Bru sorbet from Coia's Cafe was the best way to round off a trip into town.

This place was (and still is) a true Glasgow institution.