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We Tried The New "Keurig For Cocktails" And This Is What Happened

Robot bartending has ARRIVED.

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The Bartesian ($300 on Kickstarter) will launch Spring 2016, if funded, with six different cocktail capsules. We tried "Signature 1," a peach-y gin drink, and Sex on the Beach.

Next, the machine draws alcohol from the appropriate reservoir and mixes it with the capsule liquids to create your cocktail.

Nicole Nguyen / BuzzFeed

In less than a minute, your drank is done. Each capsule has a barcode that the Bartesian needs to scan before you load it. This barcode tells the Bartesian what drink it's making so it uses the correct alcohol ratios.

"Strong processed flavor. It needs something else . . . Are cocktails really that hard to make?" – Jess M.

"Tastes more like a real cocktail, but still too Kool Aid-y." – Jess M.

"Way too sweet, but at least I taste what seems like coconut." – Mathew G.

"No, these are not drinks I'd serve my friends." — Brendan K.

Here's the thing: it's really, really hard to make something out of a pod taste good.

Tiffany Kim / BuzzFeed

There's a reason why craft cocktails take forever to make. They require a combination of fresh ingredients, quality spirits, and very attentive measuring, stirring, shaking, straining, and muddling.

So, is this $300 "Keurig for Cocktails" worth it? That depends.

If you're a gadget geek who loves tech gizmos for the novelty, then yes. If you're in a hurry, lazy, or looking to get drunk vs. drink a quality cocktail, then yes.

But if you want to make a well-balanced, delicious cocktail at home, then no, the Bartesian is not the answer. You're better off getting a great cocktail book and buying the necessary tools and ingredients.

We wished the Bartesian was the "ultimate cocktail machine." Keeping a home bar stocked can be a hassle. There are all the mixers and garnishes — not to mention tools like muddlers, strainers, jiggers, and the like. Plus, you have to take the time to measure all of the liquids and get the ratios right. When you get home from work or school and want a drink, the last thing you want is more dishes to wash, more things to prepare.

And when your friends be like:

The Bartesian isn't the only robot mixologist vying for your counterspace.

somabarkickstarter.com

There's the slightly more expensive Somabar ($429), expected for December 2015 delivery, which might be more promising. It doesn't rely on capsules but rather removeable pods which you refill with the mixers, bitters, and alcohol of your choosing. You control the ingredients and the Somabar chills and mixes the drink on your behalf.

jevomaker.com

Then there's the Jevo (price TBD), which produces 20 chilled jello shots in 10 minutes. But it's designed for commercial applications in bars and restaurants, so none for you, Gretchen Weiner.

monsieur.co

Last but not least is the astounding $4,000 Monsieur, which has a ten-inch LCD touchscreen that displays the variety of cocktails it can make with eight different ingredients. Six ingredients can be placed in the cold compartment, and two can be placed in the room temperature compartment.

Robot bartenders are convenient — but, in their current iteration, they're far from the replacement bartenders they claim to be.

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