16 Tinder Dating Stories That Are So Awkward You'll Shed A Single Tear For These People
"He told me I looked different than what he expected, and offered me gas money to leave."
1. The dude with the mysterious backpack:
"I went on a date with this guy I'd met on Tinder who seemed pretty nice. We met up at a park, and when I saw him I noticed that he was carrying this really big backpack. At the end of the date, I asked him about it. He told me that it was a secret but that he'd show me anyway. We hid behind this tree and he opened the bag to reveal what seemed like hundreds of really creepy stuffed monkey animals! I was horrified, especially when he said, 'They all sleep in my bed. Every night. Just like you can.' What's even worse is that sometimes I'll still see him at the park with that giant backpack!"
2. The one who talked during the movie:
"We went to the movies and he talked through the previews, telling me about special effects. I told him that I studied film, and he cut me off by saying, 'Film classes are just a joke anyway.' Fifteen minutes into the movie, and he was trying to get his hand down my shirt. I told him to stop, and he left to get popcorn. When he came back he sat as far away from me as possible. After the movie he followed me to my car and wanted me to give him a ride home because he had taken an Uber. But there was no Uber in my small town! I said goodbye and sped off."
3. The catfish with high expectations:
"Not only was the guy I met up with not the person in his pictures, he told me I looked different than what he expected, and offered me gas money to leave."
4. The future that was already planned:
"The whole date he kept putting his hand over mine and cutting me off to say, 'You're so pretty!' He asked me to stand and turn for him, and told me to not talk politics. When I asked what his plans were for the rest of the week, he said he'd be introducing me to his family, and maybe looking for a place to live together. I dodged the goodnight kiss, and got very emotional texts from him for weeks after."
5. The one who wouldn't get the hint:
"So, I matched with this guy and we had a nice date, but I didn't want to see him again. Over the holidays this man kept texting and asking me when I'd be back. I let on that I didn't want to see him again, and this caused him to friend me on all social media. He even sent flowers to the school I taught at, which was super creepy because I had never told him where I worked. I blocked him and I haven't met up with anyone from Tinder in a while."
6. The guy who had a lot more problems than living with his ex-wife:
"My date explained that he had picked me up late by saying, 'The ex-wife took our kids home in our van even though she knew I was using it tonight.' Turns out they still lived AND worked together. Then we went to a baseball game where he told me that he was about to go to trial for assaulting a police officer. The baseball game got rained out, and we couldn't find where he parked his (their?) van, and when he dropped me off he said, 'Have a good night, buddy.' Ya, have a good life, buddy."
7. The bag that did NOT have weed:
"I met up with this guy on Tinder and we seemed to click. Fast forward into the date and he disappeared and came back holding a sandwich-sized bag half full of what looked like broken glass. Crack, my Tinder date had crack. I politely declined his offer and then when I had the opportunity, made an exit."
8. The wannabe Mr. Grey:
"He took me to see 50 Shades of Grey, and in the middle of one of the sex scenes, he proceeded to ask in a loud voice if I would let him do the same things to me. I could not get out of there fast enough!"
9. The one who up and left:
"I met up with a guy on Tinder who was in town that weekend. We went to the movies and two hours into the film he got up. I sent him a text to make sure he was okay. He ensured me that he was fine and just needed a few minutes. Twenty minutes went by and I texted him again telling him that we could leave if he wasn't feeling well. It turns out that he had left the movie, went back to the hotel, packed his shit, and left. He wasn't ready for that much 'contact.' So I was left crying in the back of the theater at 1 a.m. and had to walk back to the hotel by myself. I'll never go see a movie again."
10. The bill that was definitely not going to be split:
"I met up with my Tinder date at a coffee shop. I ordered a latte, while he ordered a coffee and six appetizers. When he got the last plate, he offered me some, but I declined. When the check came he asked to split the bill and I assumed he was joking. I didn't eat his food and the check was over $100. When I realized that he was dead serious, I told him that I wasn't splitting the bill because I hadn't eaten anything of his. He then said, 'So? That was your decision.' I put down $10 and left."
11. The bachelorette party crasher:
"I met a girl downtown at a bar before we were supposed to go to a show. She found a bachelorette party and joined in on the fun. I went to the bathroom and when I returned five minutes later, she couldn't stand up. She was so drunk we skipped the show and I ended up having to take her back to my place because I didn't know where she lived. She slept in my bed while I slept on the cold, wooden floor in the middle of winter. She texted me the next day asking for a second date."
12. The one who could see dead people:
"My worst Tinder date was actually my first. The guy was super sweet and cute, but we ended up getting to know each other a little too well. He told me that he could sense spirits and talk to ghosts. In return, I totally ghosted him. No ghost boy for me."
13. The opinion no one asked for:
"This guy and I decided to hang out, and he asked me to pick him up because he didn't have a car...that should have been my first clue. I went to pick him up, and the first thing he did when he got in the car was pat my belly and say, 'A little too much beer, yeah? You're gonna have to lose that if we date.' I kicked him out and got ice cream."
14. The conversation about his other date:
"I matched with this really cute guy who happened to live a couple of blocks away from me. We met up at his house and he began acting strange. Turns out that he had online stalked me and found out that he'd been on a Tinder date with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. The whole night he talked about their date and how it had gone so well. I guess she ghosted him because he asked me to tell her to text him back. He texted me the next day asking if I had talked to her yet. She now has him blocked on all social media."
15. The waitress who caught his eye:
"Matched with a guy and we talked for bit before agreeing to meet for drinks. Day of, he showed up late, then couldn't find me (after walking by me twice). He finally sat down, and as we ordered drinks, he started flirting with the waitress. Halfway through the first drink he announced that he didn't think we had any 'chemistry.' I chugged the rest of my drink and wished him luck with the waitress. He smirked and said that he thought he had a shot with her."
16. And finally, the Clark Kent impersonator with interesting relationship goals:
"He showed up dressed like Superman — white button-up over a blue Superman T-shirt, Clark Kent hair, glasses — and took me out to sushi...though I told him several times that I was a vegetarian. At dinner, he spilled sake all over me. He also pulled out his digital camera to show me photos of the trip to Europe he had taken with his mother five years ago. And then, while he was driving me home, he told me his goal was to have a relationship like Leo and Kate in Titanic."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.