1. Is your mom screaming "who the fuck is Sharon?" at your father? If so, then yes, your parents are getting a divorce. Welcome to the club, Tyler.
2. My parents got divorced in 2001. So it was a lot of Creed on my walkman. Try that.
3. Think about this Justeene, TWO CHRISTMASES!!!
4. You saw your Dad sleeping on the couch and finally connected A to B? Sorry Rose, 50% of your friends are here for you.
6. .....but you got cake, so that day couldn't have been completely horrible.
7. Jay makes a point. A lot of parents bribe the kids in a divorce with gifts to take their side. That's how I got my Playstation 2.
8. Queen, if you're happy, I'm happy.
9. But are you, Wannabe Cali Girl? Are you?
10. No, listen to your mother. Her work friend Kevin is just a friend.
11. In a divorce kids do become relevant. The parent who wins custody basically wins the divorce.
12. Wait until your parents start seeing other people and get back to me.
13. Yes you should Rob, and for that, I thank you.
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