back to top

33 Women Explain Why They Did Or Didn't Take Their Husband's Last Name

"I'm not changing my bland-ass last name to his bland-ass last name when I just renewed my passport."

Posted on

We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us why they did or didn't take their husband's last name. From inspiring to heartbreaking to downright badass, here are their stories.


6. "I liked the idea of having the same last name as my kids."

Ron Tom / ABC

"I didn’t want to saddle them with a very long hyphenation. I made my maiden name my middle name so I didn’t have to let it go completely."


7. "I kept my last name because I earned it."

"Throughout my whole childhood I was constantly made fun of for my last name. I was always so embarrassed and couldn't wait to turn 18 to legally change it. But, I didn't. The bullying and embarrassment sucked, but I got through it and my name made me who I am. I love my husband, but his name is his, and my name is mine. It took me nearly 30 years, but I'm proud of my whole name and I'm not giving that up for anybody."



8. "I’m from Utah and a former member of the Mormon church, so it was just assumed I would take my husband’s last name."

"I was married at 22 and thought being married defined me. Now, at 28, I wish I had kept my last name or at least hyphenated it because I’ve matured enough to realize I’m not just my husband’s wife.


9. "I lost my father right before I got married and he didn’t have much to leave me."

"I just wanted to keep my last name for a while since it felt like the last thing he had to give me. I wound up divorced six years later, so that sentiment saved some headache down the road."


10. "I took my husband's last name because I chose him and he chose me."


"The name change was a way to show that to the world. I didn't feel like I was betraying my family because I kept my first and middle name — the names my parents actually picked for me. I think it's cool I got to pick my last name."



12. "I didn't take my husband's last name because your name is a pretty important part of your identity."


"It’s usually the first part you offer to people when you meet them. No other parts of my identity changed when I got married, so why should my name?"


13. "My parents refused to take each other's last names, so when they married they picked a new last name and passed it on to me."


"Throughout my life, people assumed I was related to people in the area with the new last name, but I wasn't. I was so happy to take my husband's last name for many reasons, but one of the biggest to me was joining a family name that means something to both of us."


14. "I didn't take my husband's last name because my husband and I are separate people."


"He's not my father and I'm not his property — we are two equals who came together. We love and respect each other very much. But I'm me and he's him. Simple."



17. "Because my father was never there for me."

"I jumped at the opportunity to take my husband's last name rather than live with the name of someone who doesn’t care about me."


18. "I'm only a teenager, but I know I will not take my husband's last name."

"I'm biracial, so my first name is a traditional white last name and my last name is Cambodian. I don't want to lose that part of myself. My last name has been a massive part of my identity, and because my family survived a genocide, I want to keep the family name going on."


19. "I took my husband's name because it sounds better with my first name than my maiden name did. It's prettier!"

"A few years after I got married, my father and I had a horrible falling out and our relationship was profoundly altered. I was very grateful I no longer had his last name — and he couldn't claim ownership of me."



20. "I kept my last name because the practice of changing last names originates from a time when marriage was a transfer of property from one man to another."


"Even though it no longer means that (for me, at least), I don't know why any woman would want to continue that tradition."



24. "My dad doesn’t have any brothers or sons, so our family name ends with my sister and me."


"I hyphenated my last name with my husband’s when I got married to honor my dad and my new family too!"


27. "I didn't take my husband's last name until we had kids."


"I was adamant I was going to remain my own person, and taking his name felt too much like him having ownership of me. Once we had kids, my whole ideology changed. I no longer saw it as me taking his name — but more our family all sharing the same name."



32. "Honestly, I took his because my last name started with a Z and his started with a B."


"All my life I was last in everything, and I didn’t feel like putting my future children through the same thing."


Want to be featured in future BuzzFeed posts? Follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter!