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33 Stages Of Getting Through Your O-Week On College

Drink goon, sloppy hookup, mi goreng, repeat.

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1. Here we go, another year of university, and another O-Week to kick off the year of living on college.

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2. You think to yourself that maybe you should behave this year, and you know, actually do some work.

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3. AH SCREW IT! You're young! Make bad life choices while you can.

4. Off to bottle-o you go!

5. You then remember you're a uni student so the alcohol budget may be tight...

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6. So goon it is!

7. And more goon!

8. Seriously! SO. MUCH. GOON!

9. After you're all stocked up, you mentally prepare yourself for the week ahead.

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10. You know everything you do this week will decide how the rest of your year will go.

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11. You take the advice from the older university students on how to survive the week.

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12. Then you pump yourself up and you're good to go!

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13. The first years will come up to you and brag about their high school lives and you're just like:

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14. Oh and there will be drunk, sloppy hookups.

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15. Like a scary amount of people will be doing the deed.

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16. A lot.

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17. Friendships will also be destroyed because of this.

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18. And some friends will migrate to new social circles, where you'll never see them again.

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19. And a lot of people will be taking part in the time-honoured tradition of the walk of shame.

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20. Your drunken self will make so many friends each night.

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21. But when you see them the next day sober things get awkward.

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22. It's even worse when you discover your drunken hookup lives in the same building.

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23. You keep on forgetting that you have to be at university each day for class introductions.

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24. So each day you're hungover as hell.

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25. And your university friends who don't live on college will just look at you with disappointment.

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26. Every night you think you are the ultimate boss.

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27. But in reality things are are bit different.

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28. You'll drown in junk food for the entire week... or your entire degree.

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29. And because of this, and drinking nothing but goon, you might notice a change in your body when you look in the mirror at the end of the week.

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30. At the end of O-Week you decide you're finally over college life, and it's time to move off.

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31. But you never do.

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32. In fact, you'll probably keep going back for O-Week long after you graduate.

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"Who's the old guy?"

33. Because you'll always remember O-Week as the week where nothing mattered and you were free to do whatever... at your health and dignity's expense.

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