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33 Stages Of Getting Through Your O-Week On College

Drink goon, sloppy hookup, mi goreng, repeat.

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1. Here we go, another year of university, and another O-Week to kick off the year of living on college.

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2. You think to yourself that maybe you should behave this year, and you know, actually do some work.

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3. AH SCREW IT! You're young! Make bad life choices while you can.

4. Off to bottle-o you go!

5. You then remember you're a uni student so the alcohol budget may be tight...


6. So goon it is!

7. And more goon!

8. Seriously! SO. MUCH. GOON!

9. After you're all stocked up, you mentally prepare yourself for the week ahead.


10. You know everything you do this week will decide how the rest of your year will go.


11. You take the advice from the older university students on how to survive the week.


12. Then you pump yourself up and you're good to go!


13. The first years will come up to you and brag about their high school lives and you're just like:

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14. Oh and there will be drunk, sloppy hookups.


15. Like a scary amount of people will be doing the deed.

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16. A lot.

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17. Friendships will also be destroyed because of this.

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18. And some friends will migrate to new social circles, where you'll never see them again.

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19. And a lot of people will be taking part in the time-honoured tradition of the walk of shame.


20. Your drunken self will make so many friends each night.

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21. But when you see them the next day sober things get awkward.

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22. It's even worse when you discover your drunken hookup lives in the same building.


23. You keep on forgetting that you have to be at university each day for class introductions.

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24. So each day you're hungover as hell.

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25. And your university friends who don't live on college will just look at you with disappointment.


26. Every night you think you are the ultimate boss.

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27. But in reality things are are bit different.


28. You'll drown in junk food for the entire week... or your entire degree.


29. And because of this, and drinking nothing but goon, you might notice a change in your body when you look in the mirror at the end of the week.


30. At the end of O-Week you decide you're finally over college life, and it's time to move off.


31. But you never do.


32. In fact, you'll probably keep going back for O-Week long after you graduate.


"Who's the old guy?"

33. Because you'll always remember O-Week as the week where nothing mattered and you were free to do whatever... at your health and dignity's expense.

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