Pardon the expletive but this is not for the faint of heart. I write this with a general good will toward men and women – those select few with a genuine interest in living the good life. The preamble to this list must denote there are plenty of times and places to give a F#@$. You will know them when you see them. Use your judgement and remember family first, help old ladies across the street, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Developing the ability to preserve your valuable F#@$ time, is what this is all about. Time really is money. There is a lot of wasteful F#@$ bullshit out there and the ability to avoid it will make or break your life.
To exert a true F#@$ is an offering of the greatest value. When properly undertaken it utilizes great energy. The energy which is a human's most valuable resource. Reserve it for the true and honest needs of the soul. Utilizing it for anything less is a sin. Don't waste all the F#@$ you have on the daily tedium and toiling of bullshit. Especially don't give a F#@$ on petty nonsense - non-believers – and idiotic vultures. Taking the time to read this F#@$ list may seem like a contradiction of what we are trying to accomplish, but I assure you, it will save many F#@$ in the long-haul.
That is why I took the F#@$ time to write it.
1. Is this part of your mission in life?
Determine what kind of endeavor it is. Is it one that generates synchronic momentum towards your purpose in life? If not, you needn't worry exhausting yourself by giving it a hardy F#@$. Many people need to make money by working jobs they hate. Remember that job is not your life, it is a vehicle. When you learn not to give all you F#@$ away you will have a lot left over to build with. So in the meantime – when it gets unbearable just lean back, relax your gaze, and whisper 'I could not give less of a F#@$,' into the ethos. This should not be directed at anyone direct. Remember, it is not a message to anyone but yourself. Not giving a F#@$ starts from within. Only then when your subconscious is in-tune with the message can one meet the fruit of the labor and grow outward. Becoming a Godlike creature.
It is important to note that a lot of people who run around loudly shouting, 'I don't give a F#@$!' actually do. Far too much of a F#@$ in fact. The tragedy is that the solution lies in their very words. If they could just learn to truly embody that and direct it towards the problem at hand, they would have a great tool for overcoming the obstacle.
2. Who the F#@$ does this MotherF#@$ think he (or she) is talking to?
A great way to regain center is to stare deep into the eyes of the person or persons expecting you to give a F#@$ and ask…
(with your eyes not with your words)
'Who the F#@$ do you think you are?'
Typically, little MotherF#@$ will back down right away. Larger…
(in psychological density - not in physical size)
These offenders will take more exemplary conduct to develop an understanding. Once you have vetted the mere mortal of being nothing more that and undeserving F#@$ it is often easier to go about your regularly scheduled high fidelity to yourself, and your purpose, no F#@$ given.
3. Give me two reasons why I should give a F#@$?
Sometimes an individual with way too much time on their hands will brazenly come right out and get in your way. Telemarketers, Jehovah's witnesses, those people trying to get you to stand up for their cause in the park. Beggars, vultures of time, often times these heathens will put you in what feels like an awkward situation. They will make you feel 'bad.' They will make you have no choice but to give a F#@$.
NEWSFLASH – FEEL GOOD you do have a choice! They don't deserve your time, and you don't have to give it to them.
But some people aren't as strong as you, maybe they don't have a Rottweiler, or a trap door on their step, or a stiff arm for that liberal in the park. Pull out you're not giving a F#@$ list, roll it up tightly and use it to bat away the dangerous smog created by wistfully relinquished F#@$ of the weak.
Ask this worthless imbecile beggar point blank, 'Give me two reasons why I should give a F#@$.' Then slam the proverbial door. You will like the way you feel, I guarantee it.
4. Forgive the little F#@$ for not knowing who the F#@$ you are.
Knock knock, who is there? A little F#@$ who doesn't know who the F#@$ I am. I see it every day, and I am a merciful non-F#@$-giver.
Enlighten them. Feel free to open up by releasing a loud burst of honest laughter. It is funny. They are derelict and you can laugh or cry about it – so laugh! Then say something off the cuff like. 'I see you are not doing anything with your F#@$ life. That measly detail shouldn't stop you from realizing who the F#@$ I am.'
Feel free to elaborate here - then finish them swiftly. 'Why don't you take your worthless pandering elsewhere and get the F#@$ out of my way! I really don't have any F#@$ time for this!' Remember that you have probably abandoned a lot of your genuine interests in pursuit of success. So don't let this little F#@$ shit waste another second of your highly valued time.
5. Am I getting paid?
If you can't respond to this question with a resounding YES, retract all F#@$.
6. Has this Mother F#@$ achieved any success of their own?
Fortunately, in today's day and age we have LinkedIn, the FBI, and social security numbers you can find out quickly. You don't have to waste valuable F#@$ on the undeserving. Make sure all time you invest will be F#@$ worth it in the long-run. Your first priority needs to be utilizing your F#@$ energy to achieve your own F#@$ maximum potential.
If you think someone is taking your F#@$ time or money and wasting it, give fair warning that then unleash a F#@$ hell storm upon them. Just remember not to give too much of a F#@$ while you are doing it. Keep the majority of your F#@$ attention in better, more lucrative places.
7. How many F#@$ have I given?
Think back to all those F#@$ you have given. Don't let them be lost in vain. I'm talking about the 'time share' sales pitches, the network marketing meetings, ELEMENTARY – High School - & COLLEGIATE EDUCATION - ten-thousand or more F#@$ you will never get back. Many a F#@$ that were taken from you at an age where you were too young to know any better. F#@$ that didn't profit you a dime. There is a silver lining - each and every F#@$ moving forward can be given with a purpose. Wrap your F#@$ tightly in your pocket and stride bravely into the future, now you know their value. Let the conservancy of these F#@$ warm your heart, shine brightly on your face, and walk with a sense of purpose that alerts Mother F#@$ to get out of your way. Your F#@$ are not for senseless distribution.
I'm talking about the branch of mathematics dealing with the properties and manipulation of F#@$ numbers. Compound interest, for every F#@$ you don't give you get two back, to do whatever the F#@$ you want with. You know those hopes and dreams you had when you were a child? You could have F#@$ accomplished them but you had to go and give all you F#@$ away on pointless bullshit. The likes of which will only net you someone else's hopes and F#@$ dreams. Think about it. Think about you. Save your F#@$ for the shit that matters.
9. You are landing on the flypaper.
Little Janie got 2400 on the SAT, she is going to the best law school in the country, and bowls a 300 consistently but she but doesn't have a F#@$ pot to piss in. Why? Because Little Janie wanted to be a F#@$ Astronaut.
Achievements are relative. We are here to be F#@$ happy. True success is F#@$ HAPPY success. Don't give out F#@$ scoring points for someone else's team. I don't care how good it looks on paper. At the end of the day, you are the only MotherF#@$ you need to answer to.
10. How'd you learn to not give a F#@$ like that?
When you look on the true achievements of others. Achievements that bring them joy. More than just general happiness and appreciation from others but I mean the type of shit where someone is F#@$ great, they know it, and their soul is rejoicing every day when they wake up. Don't think 'how did they do it,' you need only to pinpoint 'How'd they learn to not give a F#@$ like that?' – for it is there, that you will find the secret of their success.