61 Thoughts Every Introvert Has While Shopping
I've made a huge mistake.
1. Did I really need to leave my house today?
2. I've been putting off jean shopping for so long anyway.
3. Why didn't I just order them online?
4. I just got to the mall and I already want to go home.
5. Ugh… why are there so many people here?
6. Is there a big sale or something?
7. And why is everyone trying to make eye contact with me?
8. Being invisible would be really cool right now.
9. This store is way too crowded.
10. Hurry up and find those damn jeans.
11. Where's my size?
12. They have practically all the other sizes except mine.
13. Fuck, now I'm going to have to ask someone for help.
14. I'll try looking again, it has to be here.
15. Shit, an employee's coming.
16. Play it cool… everything's under control.
17. Should I tell him I need help or leave?
18. I'll just come back another day.
19. Hurry up and decide, he's asking you the question.
20. Why did I say no even though I need his help?
21. I've literally looked through this rack more than 10 times and my size still isn't here.
22. Why can't these jeans just magically appear in front of me?
23. OK, that's like the fifth employee that asked if I've been helped. Why didn't I say anything?
24. What's wrong with me?
25. Fuck it. The faster I get these jeans, the faster I'll get home.
26. Plus I won't have to come back here for a long time.
27. Here we go. We're going to ask someone for help. *deep breath*
28. Well… that was surprisingly easy.
29. Talking to people isn't so bad.
30. I should've done that right when I walked in. I'd be so much closer to getting home.
31. Aaaand there's only one cashier.
32. Fucking fantastic.
33. That girl paying for her things looks familiar.
34. Is that someone from work?
35. Ohhhhhh shit.
36. Wait, I don't think it is…
37. Oh, fuck it IS Jessica.
38. Oh please don't notice me.
39. All I need is for someone to pull a "stop and chat" while I'm stuck in line.
40. I'm trapped. This is why I hate shopping.
41. I'll pretend I'm texting someone. I hope this works.
42. Keep looking down, keep looking down.
43. Whew, she's gone. Thank GOD.
44. If I see one more person I know I'm leaving.
45. I wonder if anyone knows how awkward I feel right now?
46. I seriously can't wait to go home.
47. What will I do when I get back though?
48. I have been meaning to watch the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
49. Maybe I'll have a nap instead?
50. Yesss, a nap.
51. At last! The front! But also... people. SHIT.
52. This cashier is asking way too many questions.
53. Why does she think it's OK to try and make small talk with me about these jeans?
54. Lord give me the strength...
55. Do you want a play by play of how I found them or do you just want to take my money so I can leave?
56. NO! Please stop asking me about a store credit card.
57. Wrap. It. Up. You're taking up my precious alone time.
58. Would it be rude if I just left without collecting my receipt?
59. Ugh, people are exhausting.
60. Ahhhh, freedom! I can hear the angels singing. *gives the biggest sigh of relief*
61. That was definitely enough social interaction for the rest of the day.