1. Ford: Sorry to the guy who bought all the horses.
2. Chrysler: No no, we’re still here.
3. Cadillac: We were magnificent once.
4. Chevy: We’re gonna need that back.
5. Audi: Boring, but efficient.
6. Mercedes: Must be this old to buy.
7. BMW: Not just for douchebags.
8. MINI: It Girls can park now.
9. Volkswagen: Couldn’t afford an Audi.
10. Porsche: Just for douchebags.
11. Skoda: Gettin’ better behind your back.
12. Volvo: It ain’t fast, but it’ll get you there.
13. Toyota: Couldn’t even afford a Volkswagen.
14. Nissan: Yes. That one car from Tokyo Drift.
15. Mazda: We know you don’t know us, but if you did, you’d love us.
16. Hyundai: It’s Hyundai. Not Sunday.
17. Aston Martin: James Bond drives one. Nope, no credit cards.
18. Jaguar: Don’t be a douchebag. Be a Jag-ass.
19. Range Rover: Please BMW, take us back.
20. Rolls-Royce: Rick Ross wants his ride back.
21. Ferrari: Will break down fast, but hey, you’re still rich.
22. Lamborghini: Exhaust on, critics off.
23. Fiat: Pronto, presto, piccolo, protesto?
24. Tesla: So long, suckers!
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