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11 Reasons To Celebrate Independence Eve

July 3 is Independence Eve, and you should bloody well celebrate. With a Newcastle Brown Ale.

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1. Because blimey! — we bloody near walloped you yankee ninnies.

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2. It's a day to mourn America's first (and brilliant) name:

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3. And remember what could have been:

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4. You and your mates can faff about in hackney carriages instead of dodgy taxis.

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5. You can say, "I'm chuffed to bits, chaps," and it's not even weird.

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6. If Britain had won the war, you would have one less reason to go to whichever Dakota Mount Rushmore is in.

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7. It's a time to lament the loss of double double-decker buses.

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8. Cheerio, Big-ger Ben.

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9. Toodle pip, Westminster-er Palace.

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10. At least there's still crumpets. Scrummy, squidgy crumpets.

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11. Oh, and it’s a totally real holiday and not just some ambush marketing campaign to sell more Newcastle Brown Ale!

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If Britain won the Revolutionary War, it would've been great — even Zachary Quinto thinks so. Get a taste at IfWeWon.com.

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