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14 Signs You're Definitely Not Allergic To Gluten

GF: GTFO. Toast your gluten tolerance with New Belgium's Fat Tire Ale.

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1. You treat your gluten with the utmost care.

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Good slice. Get on that sandwich.

2. And you pair your gluten-filled food with gluten-filled beverages.

Like toasty Belgian ale.
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Like toasty Belgian ale.

3. Because you can't live without that sweet, sweet gluten.

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Get. On. My. Face.

4. If you had it your way, you'd live in a house made of gluten.

Sarah-Rose (CC BY-ND http://2.0) / Via Flickr: oh_darling

5. And you'd sleep on a gluten bed.

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A bread mattress would be so comfortable.

6. You love gluten in its every incarnation.

7. Actually, you don't even know what gluten is. You just know you love it.

Because all the best things contain gluten.

8. Gluten is your guru, and this is your mantra:

Croutons are more than just a garnish. They're the main attraction.
s2art (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via Flickr: s2art

Croutons are more than just a garnish. They're the main attraction.

9. And "gluten-free" is a crime worthy of the highest punishment.

Gluten-free pizza? No sir. Not in this life.
David Burn (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via Flickr: davidburn

Gluten-free pizza? No sir. Not in this life.

10. The mere idea of a gluten-free existence terrifies you.

A life without soft, velvety flour? NOPE.
Michelangelo Carrieri (CC BY-ND http://2.0) / Via Flickr: malakhkelevra

A life without soft, velvety flour? NOPE.

11. You and bread will always be together.

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Strap yourself in, bread. We're in this for the long haul.

12. Because gluten is your everything.

13. And you couldn't live without it.

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Shine on, gluten, you crazy diamond.

14. Love you lots, boo.

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Choppers love gluten. So New Belgium's Fat Tire Ale pairs well with Choppers.

View this video on YouTube

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For a chance to win the Fat Tire Experience and ride with the Chopaderos at Tour de Fat 2014 in San Diego, visit http://NewBelgium.com/FatTireExperience.

Are you actually allergic to gluten? We're sorry about that, we really are. We mean no disrespect. Poor gluten's been having a hard time lately, and we want to show it some love.