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    27 Signs You Were The Victim Of British Hippy Parents

    So many chickpeas. So little privacy.

    1. You were eating tofu, kale, and quinoa years before it was cool.

    2. Meanwhile, baked apples were a genuine treat.

    3. You ate Beanfeast while camping.

    Flickr: bruce_mcadam

    While everyone else tucked into hot bacon and eggs, you were left ploughing through a bowl of reconstituted soya mince, cooked over a leaky paraffin stove.

    4. And at home you mostly ate Pear & Apple Spread.


    In tubs big enough to bathe a baby. Unfortunately, even on a toasted wholemeal pitta, it tasted of soil.

    5. Or Natex, a Marmite replacement.

    Flickr: creatinginthedark

    It wasn't as nice. In fact, it was a baffling: a vegetarian Marmite substitute, even though Marmite is vegetarian. Good one, guys.

    6. You called your parents by their first names.

    Via Flickr: sarahkw

    Tbh, you still do.

    7. And in return, they filled your family albums with naked pictures.

    Via Flickr: autumnsonata

    Hell, they covered your walls in naked pictures too.

    8. Because your parents weren't really into privacy, your bathroom door didn't have a lock on it.

    9. And you got taken out for a celebratory meal when you started your period.

    Via Flickr: 40167258@N07

    Which was actually pretty nice.

    10. Your parents shouted at you when you started shaving your legs.

    11. And insisted on leaving hand-painted signs above the downstairs loo.

    Via Flickr: doctorow

    "If it's yellow then let it mellow, if it's brown then flush it down."

    12. But, on the plus side, you could have boys to stay the night whenever you wanted.

    Via Flickr: sophiadphotography

    You weren’t allowed to read Bridget Jones’ Diary, though, because of its anti-feminist hero.

    13. And you were allowed to dress yourself for school.

    14. There were always lots of "uncles" at your house.

    Via Flickr: 5of7

    They were all your mum’s ex-boyfriends. Or men who hoped to be her next one.

    15. And your parents’ exes would often come on holiday with you.

    16. Talking of partners, your mum checked your astrological chart every time you got a new boyfriend.

    17. You learned 5Rhythms instead of ballet.

    18. You had no idea that lentils, rice, muesli, or chickpeas came in packets smaller than a pillowcase.

    Tsega Wolday/Bioversity International / Via Flickr: bioversity

    19. And your fridge door was always full of tartex, miso, bean curd, and soya milk.

    20. You had to suffer the indignity of Sosmix on a fairly regular basis.

    Via Flickr: monkeypuzzle

    For a group of people who don't eat sausages, vegetarians sure do love making fake ones out of soya protein and, like, gravel.

    21. And the house was always littered with enormous plastic tubs of crunchy wholefood peanut butter.

    22. It never occurred to you to shave your armpits.

    23. Although you did henna your hair.

    Via Flickr: pipdiddly

    A lot.

    24. You thought all music festivals featured Venezuelan joropo bands and compost toilets.

    25. But you could make your own musical instruments.

    Via Flickr: nevilleslens

    Out of little more than six rubber bands and a yoghurt pot.

    26. And you were bought up to recycle everything.

    Via Flickr: donshall

    Cans, teabags, leg sugaring strips, bike tyres, jumpers, exercise books, smashed plates, jam jars, fancy dress costumes...everything. Your sister even tried to bury the oven in the garden to be reborn as a flowerbed.

    27. And when you left home...

    Via Flickr: slipstreamblue took a homemade bedspread, a sleeping-bag sized sack of oats, a copy of Astral Weeks, and the absolute certainty that your parents loved you.

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