33 Naughty Stocking Stuffers If You Don't Have Any Coal
It's giving stocking stuffers, but with an extra nasty flair. 🤪
We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
What a year! The holidays are finally here! And while we’re doing our best to make sure the products we feature will arrive in time, shipping times are especially tricky this year, so we suggest shopping as early as you can.
Stock and shipping times can vary depending on where you live, which product you purchase, and more. So order earlier than you think you need to and be sure to double-check the retailers’ websites for shipping information to ensure that your gift will arrive in time for when you need it.
1. A vibrating Verge cock ring by We-Vibe designed specifically to stimulate the perineum with eight rumbly vibrations that'll make them wonder, "Is that Santa Claus making all that racket, or me?"
You can control the vibrations of this waterproof wearable manually or from the convenient We-Connect app.
Promising review: "This thing is the bee's knees. It's strong, has 10 different levels of strength, multiple different vibe modes, just the right amount of weight and does the job, very well at that! It's great for solo and couples. It also comes with an app for long distance fun with a partner! Be aware that you must plan to use it before any kind of stimulation because YOU WILL NOT GET IT ON! Other than that I couldn't be happier with this one!" —JacksonP
Shipping info: FYI, the shipping address and billing info will be labeled as "Wow Tech" on discreet packaging. Free FedEx standard shipping (3–5 business days) is offered on orders $30+ and FedEx express shipping (2–3 business days) is also available at checkout.
Get it from We-Vibe for $119.
2. A precision bullet vibrator by Vush that's pretty, powerful and perfect for the femme in your life. They won't get enough of the 25 vibration combinations that'll keep their flower blooming year-round.
3. A 5-inch penis candle by Agreeable Agony created with blacklight wax, so they can enjoy some fluorescent wax play under the mistletoe.
4. The iconic Easy Beat egg-shaped masturbators by Tenga, featuring six disposable strokers not necessarily from six geese a layin'...but let's go with it.
5. An oh-so-convenient OhNut set designed with stretchy body-safe materials to fit their favorite penis or dildo and offer extra cushioning during penetration.
6. The luxury Kip lipstick vibrator by Dame that's perfect for the #BossBabe who's always on the go. They'll adore its aesthetically-pleasing design and five rumbly vibration settings for pinpointed, powerful pleasure.
7. A cock ring with a textured vibrating pad for extra stimulation. It's sure to become a staple in their naughty accessory storage, right next to the belts.
8. A chastity cage for their cock, boasting a transparent design that makes sure neither of you miss out on any of the action during your play.
9. A novelty Emojibator vibrator that's as hilarious as it is functional, a perfect stocking stuffer to tell them to go fuck themselves, literally.
10. A water-friendly rainbow stripe silicone butt plug by B-Vibe with a flared base for easy removal and a smooth tapered tip for easing in.
11. A vibrating anal plug that's slim enough to fit into their stocking when Santa comes knocking at the backdoor (consensually, of course).
12. A luxury silicone ball gag adorned with a delicate rose. Remove the rose to reveal a hole that's perfect for teasing.
13. A simple ball gag that gets the job done while providing a soft silicone material for you or your partner to sink your teeth into.
14. The Tulips vibrator by Sweet Vibrations, for the touch-starved person in your life hoping their stocking has something more than chocolate kisses — insert clitoral kisses delivered with 10 vibration patterns and five intensities.
15. An Eva vibrator by Dame designed with flexible wings to tuck under the labia and nest on the vulva, stimulating them with three vibration intensities. *hint* Tell them to introduce it into couples' play for extra good vibes.
16. A uniquely-shaped vibrating cock ring by Fun Factory with rabbit ear attachments to stimulate their clit — it may not be decorated with diamonds, but they'll still appreciate this ring.
17. A pair of beginner-friendly nipple suckers that change colors as playtime heats up — who needs ornaments when they'll have these?!
18. A versatile panty vibrator that they'll relish putting on underneath those kitschy matching pajamas that were also in their stocking.
Its adjustable vibration modes and speeds can be controlled at close-range or from afar. Unlike most panty vibrators, this one is strictly external and has a magnetic cap to help it stay put as you walk, sit, lounge or whatever else you plan on doing.
Promising reviews: "This product is amazinggggg for long-distance relationships and even solo play. All different kinds of patterns, or you can make your own. Battery life lasts pretty well and it’s pretty discreet and stays in place well. I’d say that it is just a tad louder than what I expected, but I think that setting can be adjusted in the app. I’d definitely 100% recommend this — especially to long-distance couples." —Leah J.
"I'm not sure how people say this doesn’t work from afar, because this works. My partner and I live a thousand miles away and we got this and he controls it from a thousand miles apart. You have to learn how to actually use the app. I 10/10 recommend this" —maricelis torres
Get it from Amazon for $119.
19. A petite precision bullet boasting silky silicone and seven vibration modes to tickle your fancy all over.
20. A lightweight suction vibrator that delivers touchless clitoral stimulation with four intensity levels because a lot of times, really great things come in really small, specially gift-wrapped packages.
21. A transparent mini stroker that fits perfectly in a stocking and just like Santa's elves, offers them a "helping hand" to climax with stimulating massage beads on the interior.
22. A flexible vibrating butt plug that'll sync to the beat of their favorite Xmas playlist — be honest, is it the Justin Bieber Christmas album or the *NSync one?
There's also an option your own custom patterns, or buzz along to user-created vibration modes already on the app. Supple, body-safe silicone offers a waterproof exterior and the spiralized stem traps lube to help the plug stay put.
Promising reviews: "Exactly as described, and exceeded expectations. This is a great buy for individual’s who seek self satisfaction. This plug is also a fantastic idea of fun for couples who look to spice things up a bit. Couldn’t get any better. Extremely happy with this purchase, and look forward to purchasing more products by this brand." —William Gardener
"We have had a great time with this. I bought the largest and it took a bit to get used to it. We are a couple of states away from each other and he has had a great time setting me off while I’m at work or doing things around home. The vibration is very intense at the highest setting and at the lowest just keeps you on edge. Being made of the material that it is, you have to keep it clean and let it air out, so it doesn’t smell if you get any fecal matter on it. Definitely recommend!" —JayyDee
23. A discreet wearable egg vibrator that won't clash with their favorite lingerie and will get them off with seven vibration modes and or personalized patterns using the Bluetooth app.
The ergonomic egg shape means this discreet vibe stays put, so you can wear it out and about (if that's your thing) and control the vibrations effortlessly from your phone. No one would suspect a thing and with a five-hour battery life...this toy can probably outlast you.
Promising reviews: "App works great super powerful and quiet. All I had to do was send an invite to my bf and he instantly was able to connect and control this thing. AMAZING!!" —Rachael M.
"I use mine on Chaturbate mostly. Connects super easily, which was something I was worried about. The app is easy to use and this device works great for me on Chaturbate. Super comfy, sometimes I forget I have it in." —Vallaria
Get it from Amazon for $129.