Five Things Whisper Can Tell Us About America's Top Party Schools
Wisconsin is bored, high, and horny. The college confessions of Whisper.
Every year, Playboy publishes a seemingly arbitrary list of the country's top party schools, and every year, the schools that appear on the list must live up to their title. Which can be intimidating, nerve-racking, annoying, and just plain exhausting. But worst of all is having to deal with the frustration of not knowing how your fellow Badgers, or Tigers, or Mountaineers truly feel about their placement on the list, and being forced to keep your own feelings bottled up inside.
On Whisper, students can say what's truly on their mind, free from judgement. Whisper can uncover which student body actually enjoys writhing, and flexing, and having shots imbibed off its navel, and which student body just wants to curl up with a good book.
2013's Top Party Schools according to Playboy magazine:
10. University of Maryland
9. Arizona State University
8. University of Georgia
7. Louisiana State University
6. University of Texas
5. Florida State University
4. University of Southern California
3. University of Colorado
2. University of Wisconsin
1. West Virginia University
A note on methodology:
To ensure accurate results, my first step was to match Whisper usage figures to enrollment numbers at each respective university. The number of Whisper users at each campus strongly correlates with the number of overall undergraduates, thus providing a representative sample of students.
Next, I compiled a list of keywords that would best capture the true nature and mood of each campus versus the ostensible nature and mood it projects as a so-called "party school."
The results of each search were weighted against the number of enrollees in each university to ensure fairness in comparison.
1. Virgin, virgins, and virginity.
2. Going out versus staying in.
To further test the theory that party schools don't actually party as often as they let on, I decided to run a search for instances of the phrase "going out" against a search for instances of the phrase "staying in."
But staying in doesn't necessarily mean avoiding a good time. Here's a search of the term "bored" among students at each of the top 10 party schools.
Now we come to chewy center of any good party school: Parties. For this, I ran a search on the words "party," "parties," and "partying," just to be safe.
4. Drinking and drugs.
To put together a chart of the schools' drinking habits, I combined the search results for "alcohol," "drinks," and "beer" — the beverage of choice among most party-school-goers:
Some interesting preferences emerged from a search for the words "drugs," "drug," and "high" (combined as "drugs"), "pot" and "weed" (combined as "pot"), and "molly."
To determine the predilection for sexual congress among America's most party-ready students, I searched on the phrases "hook up," "hooked up," and "hooking up," as well as on the word "sex." To make it more interesting, I also searched the words "STD" and "STDs." Here's what I found: