1. Every game of Mario Kart ever is rigged against him.
2. This boat is rigged against him.
3. This rig is definitely rigged against him.
4. His "Discover Weekly" playlist is definitely rigged, and not at all accurate.
5. His Starbucks order is definitely rigged against him.
6. Pokemon Go is inevitably against him.
7. This rig is rigged against him, too.
8. The English language is 100% rigged against him.
9. This oil rig looks pretty rigged to me.
10. The passage of time is bigly rigged against him.
11. This lighting rig.
12. Swamps that are yet to be drained.
13. The atmospheric composition of planet Earth is rigged against him.
14. But most importantly...this megaphone is (hopefully) rigged and has been switched the f*** off.
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