Here’s How To Have A Productive Conversation About Money With Your Significant Other

A simple guide to a difficult conversation! You can do this, and Navy Federal Credit Union can help.

So, it’s time for you and your significant other to have The Talk — you know, the one about your savings, credit cards, dreams, anxieties, and everything else that comes with discussing money.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for a while. Maybe the topic just came up for the first time today. But, if you need help figuring out what to cover or how to get started, Mathu Mathu, assistant vice president of operations for Navy Federal Financial Group, has the information you need to make your money talk actually productive.

Let's start at the beginning: When should you and your S.O. have The Talk?

"You’re probably not talking about each other’s bank accounts on the first date," says Mathu. But, at the same time, "as you develop a deeper relationship it can get harder to have the money conversation as more time passes."

The truth is there is no "right time" for having the money talk — you can do it at your own pace. Mathu recommends having the conversation "sooner" rather than later because it will allow you to "focus on financial milestones together and grow as a couple" without lingering concerns or misconceptions.

Just make sure that when you finally do schedule The Talk you set aside enough time to actually talk. Rushing through the conversation will only make it more difficult.

What does The Talk absolutely need to cover?

At minimum, couples should be prepared to discuss income, expenses, and lifestyle expectations. Understanding how much money your significant other makes, spends, and saves is the foundation of a shared financial life. You can't have a conversation about shared splurges or joint budgets until you understand where each other are coming from financially. Compromise is possible, but only if you’re upfront about where you’re at and what you want.

You should make a plan to talk about debt, too.

"Depending on the severity of the situation, couples should certainly discuss their debt," says Mathu. "If it’s causing an issue for one person, that issue is likely to affect both people." Whether it’s student loans, a large car payment, credit card debt, or some combination of the three, your partner needs to know the whole picture.

If you feel uncomfortable broaching the topic on your own, Mathu says couples should know that "there are financial advisors and other types of counseling that can offer help in these situations."

Whether you tackle the subject alone or with a third party, "the best piece of advice is to act early to find a debt reduction plan that works for both people."

OK, so you paint your significant other a detailed portrait of your finances... Then what?

Once you've talked about your individual pasts and presents, you start planning a shared future! Are you going to join your finances or keep them separate? Will you choose one person to handle the day-to-day money management? How are you going to handle shared expenses? Are there changes you need to make to your budgets? The answers to these questions will help you create a financial roadmap for your life together.

Obviously, you should talk about the future, but how far into the future?

"Retirement should be a part of that conversation," says Mathu. "Are you and your partner contributing to retirement accounts? Is it a tax-advantaged account? What about employer benefits? When the time comes, will you move? Will you have a mortgage, or will you pay all of your debts? Retirement looks different for everyone, but your financial assets and debts can play a role in shaping your lifestyle."

If you're thinking about combining finances, take time to carefully consider the pros and cons.

Sharing bank accounts isn’t right for everyone: Some couples maintain separate accounts, while others combine everything. You can split the difference or make your own arrangement. There is no "right answer" — just what’s right for you and your partner.

However, if you are considering combining accounts, it's essential that you think through all the pros and cons. "The last thing you want is a surprise when you’re sharing accounts," explains Mathu. "Some cons, like being surprised by a charge or not seeing the correct amount of funds, can be avoided simply by discussing finances before combining accounts and communicating large or unexpected purchases ahead of time. If that’s an issue, then there may be a deeper problem at hand."

And don't forget to talk about insurance!

"If either person in the relationship relies on the other for income, then life insurance should be part of your plan," says Mathu. "While it’s not everyone’s favorite topic, life insurance is a tool for financial security. Peace of mind goes a long way, especially when a couple is financially dependent on each other." But don't stop there: Talk about health, car, and home insurance, as well. "Insurance is the foundation of a good financial plan because life throws curveballs from time to time, and the last thing you want to do is tap your emergency fund or credit card for things that can be covered by insurance."

If you and your S.O. get through all of that, you won't just have had The Talk, you will have crushed it!

Seriously, you two got this! And Navy Federal Credit Union has your back. As a member, you have access to a range of savings, checking, and loan options, plus access to a financial counselor.

Information provided by Navy Federal Financial Group.

Nondeposit investment and insurance products are offered through Navy Federal Financial Group, LLC, (NFFG) and through its subsidiary, Navy Federal Brokerage Services, LLC (NFBS), a member of FINRA/SIPC and an SEC registered investment advisory firm. Brokerage and advisory products are offered through NFBS. These products are not NCUA/NCUSIF or otherwise federally insured, are not guaranteed or obligations of the credit union, are not offered, recommended, sanctioned, or encouraged by the federal government, and may involve investment risk, including possible loss of principal. 1-877-221-8108.

Navy Federal Credit Union is federally insured by NCUA.

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