7 Important Rules For Umbrella Owners In NYC

Please don’t poke me.

1. 1. If you must carry an umbrella, carry a narrow umbrella.

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

2. 2. Pay attention when you’re walking. Nobody likes being poked.

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

3. 3. Remember you don’t have a car, so you’ll need to think wayyyyyy ahead. (i.e. prepare for afternoon/evening storms)

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

4. 4. Stay out of the Splash Zone. Your umbrella won’t do you much good when you get drenched by a passing taxi.

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

5. 5. Don’t buy the cheap sidewalk umbrellas. Invest in something sturdy.

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

6. 6. Don’t wear suede or anything that can’t get wet. Your umbrella can do only so much on a windy day.

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

7. 7. Collapse the umbrella when you descend the subway stairs or go under scaffolding.

Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com
Nathan W. Pyle / Via amazon.com

These are pages pulled from my first book! (Along with a few that didn’t make it.) If you want to see more, come to my book signing at BookCourt in Brooklyn on Tuesday, July 15, at 7 p.m.

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