The 27 Worst Things About Going To Stock Photo University
Why are we always sitting on the stairs?
You're always late to class because everyone is walking through the hallway like this.
So you try to use the stairs and this group is sitting on them, just staring at you like this.
So you go outside but here we go again, an even larger group of students is sitting on the stairs and smiling silently.
So finally you just have to speak up and say, "Listen, guys, really I just want to use the stairs."
Then you try to do a group project but Shannon keeps looking over her shoulder and smiling at something; no one knows why.
And this super-strict professor insists everyone come to class desaturated until he gives permission to resaturate.
Meanwhile, back in the dorm it seems your roommates are deliberately trying to make a mess.
Then you can't find your glasses and everyone's blurry so you just have to smile because they might be your friends.
And you're still not sure if the blurry figures are your friends, but they seem nice so you're just going with it.
Plus there's always one person who stands 10 feet in front of everyone and ruins the group photo.
Seriously, he's nowhere near the rest of the group. He has to notice that, right?
Then things start to get really weird. At first it's just all the smiling.
Next thing you notice people start to smile and give you thumbs-up. For no reason. At first just one person.
Then it's two.
Then it's entire groups of students.
You sprint past the computer lab and this is what you see through the doorway.
You run outside, but you can't escape the smiles and thumbs.
Just then your friend Chad pulls up. "Chad! Thank God," you say. "Everyone here is acting so weird."
NO CHAD NO
You've got to escape. You're now running away from the campus, looking for a taxi to the airport, when you hear voices shouting, "HEY, where are you going?" You look back and see this.
You buy a plane ticket home and as you board the flight, you peek in the cockpit. NO — not them too.
Your flight lands. You sprint from the terminal. Your heart is pounding. "JUST TAKE ME HOME," you gasp, as you catch your breath. The taxi driver smiles and does this.
You're finally home. You run inside and shut the door behind you. "Hey, we're out here!" you hear your mom shout from the back patio. You breathe a sigh of relief.
You're overcome with relief as you enter the backyard and see your parents.
"We're so glad you're home," they say. "Me too," you sigh. "You'd never believe what kind of day I've had." "Oh, I bet we would," your mom replies.
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