Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas, BuzzFeeders!
Gold. Everywhere.The best LSD money can buy.Nightmares.Sunflowers.A mysterious smile.
Play some jazz on my phonograph.Watch a church choir perform . . . while I’m tripping on LSD.Turn off the lights in my room and blast some metal.Find a music club with dancing girls and get drunk on absinthe.Invent a piano that sounds like a cello, because I can.
Have a multitude of children out of wedlock.All the drugs.Go for a walk by the sea and worry that women are actually vampires.Ain’t nobody got time for that! I paint all day!Drawing blueprints for things that won’t be invented for hundreds of years.
I get more gold.Thinking about Jesus gives me spectacular visions of what Heaven must be like.It’s my least favorite holiday! It just reminds me of my crazily religious father!For once I can stop thinking about being poor.The Medici throw some pretty awesome Christmas parties.
Rich and famous. Women would throw themselves at me.That crazy guy you never want sitting next to you on the bus.On so many antidepressants.Also on many antidepressants! But I would move somewhere warm and sunny to get better.The winner of multiple Nobel Prizes.
Gold. I have tons of the stuff.Drugs!Anxiety, since I have enough for both of us to share.My ear. Or a painting, I have loads of them sitting around.A flying machine—or at least, the drawings for one. It’s up to you to build it.
Which Famous Artist Would You Be?
Congrats! Not only are you extraordinarily talented, but the ladies can't get enough of you. The bad news about this is you have a lot of Christmas presents to buy (hint: all these children out of wedlock that you fathered). Buy some cool Klimt-inspired shirts for all your bastard children or for friends and non-bastard relatives here on Yizzam. And hey, Merry Christmas!
So I know that you probably don't actually use hallucinogenic drugs, but man, those paintings of yours are crazy! In case you haven't figured out what to gift your friends and family this year for Christmas, maybe they'd like some Bosch-themed sweaters! You can find all sorts of cool art-inspired gear here on Yizzam. And hey, Merry Christmas!
Dude, get some help! Or at least, celebrate Christmas somewhere warm and sunny for a change! In case you're not completely estranged from your friends and family and want to get them something Munch-inspired (say, a t-shirt) as a holiday gift, you can find all sorts of cool art prints here on Yizzam. And hey, Merry Christmas!
Might we suggest saving your ear and instead buying a cool Van Gogh-inspired tshirt for your true love here on Yizzam? And hey, Merry Christmas!
Alright, we all know you're a genius, you don't have to rub it in. Maybe if you pause long enough from painting masterpieces or designing flying machines to remember that it's the holiday season you can buy someone special a da Vinci-inspired t-shirt here on Yizzam. And hey, Merry Christmas!