1. Black pudding Flickr: David Blaikie / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: nikonvscanon I'm a firm believer that the English fry-up is the finest breakfast in the world. Which is why I'm so flabbergasted as to why we'd screw it all up with a sausage made of blood, fat, and cereal. 2. Pork pies Flickr: Smabs Sputzer (1956-2017) / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 10413717@N08 Sometimes, I really miss living in England. Then I remember that casually eating cold, congealed pork pies wrapped in plastic from a grocery store is socially acceptable there — and suddenly the homesickness isn't so bad anymore. 3. Jellied eels Flickr: Gideon / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: malias Look at this monstrosity and tell me that Britain's bad rep for terrible food is undeserved. I dare you. 4. Haggis Flickr: Beck / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: beckayork I really don’t think I need to spend too long explaining why a meal comprised of the liver, heart, and lungs of a sheep is disgusting. Fun fact: Haggis is banned in the US. This means I am safe here. 5. Mushy peas Flickr: Daniel Rossi / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: rossination Whoever looked at peas and thought, “This, but with the consistency of a very chunky smoothie,” deserves to be beheaded by the Queen. I know that us Brits are fond of overcooking everything, but this is taking it TOO FAR. To make matters worse, apparently mushy peas on toast is a thing some people do: like a shit English version of guacamole. 6. Marmite Flickr: James Cridland / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jamescridland As the adverts say, you love it or hate it. I hate it — and quite frankly judge anyone who’s like, “Mmmm, yeast extract on toast.” 7. Scotch eggs Flickr: mac morrison / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: cmmorrison Scotch eggs are eggs covered in sausage meat and breadcrumbs. It's a bit like someone's tried to combine the best parts of a fried breakfast into a single snack, which is appalling for the same reasons that you wouldn't put a full Christmas dinner into a blender. 8. Rice pudding Flickr: Seamus Walsh / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: seamus_walsh Yes, milky rice as a desert. Is this why the world thinks we have bad teeth? Because so much of our food is literally mush? 9. Stargazy pie Flickr: Krista / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: scaredykat Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth? 10. Squash Flickr: 55919472@N00 / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 55919472@N00 This one is technically a drink, but there is truly no need to add berry or orange flavored syrup to water. It tastes a bit like juice, but all artificial tasting and crap. What makes it worse is that everyone appears to be bloody obsessed with it, so sometimes just getting plain water is a hassle. Notable exception: squadka (squash + vodka). 11. Chocolate bourbons Flickr: Paul Downey / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: psd I know Brits are known for the serious stiff upper lip, but must a chocolate sweet be dry and sensible? If chocolate bourbons were a human, they would be a stern librarian who’s worn the same fusty cardigan every day for the past 25 years. All I'm saying is that the Swedes have a functional society without biscuits that taste like sand. 12. Faggots Flickr: Tony Kennick / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: thegreatgonzo Faggots are meatballs made from pig's heart, liver, and fatty belly meat. This is the same country that was super shocked when Ikea put horse meat in meatballs. 13. Liquorice allsorts Flickr: JonoTakesPhotos / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 55919472@N00 Compared to the various sheep intenstine–related items you've seen on this list, you might be tempted to think that the liquorice allsort is quite innocuous but AU CONTRAIRE: these candies suck me in with their cute pastel colors, but leave a grim aniseed aftertaste that disappoint me more than any fish-head pie ever could. 14. Spotted dick Flickr: Jem Stone / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jemstone "Gosh darn, if only there was a desert that had beef fat and dried fruits AND sounded like a nickname for genital herpes" — some deranged person in England, probably. 15. Wine gums Flickr: Smabs Sputzer (1956-2017) / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 10413717@N08 Neither wine nor gum, these chewy sweets usually come in five flavors that all vaguely taste of broken dreams. 16. White pudding Flickr: young shanahan / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: youngshanahan Finally, white pudding is the same as black pudding — but without the blood. You would think this would be more appealing, but just a gentle reminder that this leaves us with suet (the hard fat you get around the loins and kidneys of cows and sheep) and oatmeal. Sometimes I wonder if all of Britain is in some kind of competition to come up with the grossest way to use meat and nobody told me. Anyone else got strong opinions on British food? LMK in the comments!