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    Jameela Jamil Opened Up About Having "No Filter" As A Response To A Nervous Breakdown

    "I have to completely change everything."

    Warning: This post contains references to self-harm and suicide.

    Actor and activist Jameela Jamil was the most recent guest on Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith and Willow Smith — and their conversation about mental health is incredibly honest.

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    Talking about a moment eight years ago, Jameela said, "I tried to kill myself, because I had a nervous breakdown."

    Red Table Talk / Via

    "It was the second time I’d tried, and I thought, Well, I'm just going to do it again unless something huge doesn’t change — if everything doesn’t change. So I decided to try and figure out my trauma, what had taken me to this low point."

    Red Table Talk / Via

    "This young woman, I was on television, I was this it girl, I had attention, all these different things that I was told my whole life would make me happy. I was so unhappy, I was so lonely, so miserable."

    At the time Jameela had pneumonia, which severely impacted her ability to sleep. She was also DJing and “working myself to death."

    Red Table Talk / Via

    She also discussed being abused as a child and growing up in a household with family members who had problems with mental illness, who she felt she had to take care of.

    "I realized, after seeking help, I had very severe depression and that my depression was caused by repressed rage. Upon realizing that, I was like, okay I have to completely change everything. I was a very well-behaved, repressed young woman who was being stuck in this box that was too small for me. I’m huge!" she continued. "I decided to get rid of my filter — to mixed results on the internet — and I decided to never hold anything in ever again."

    Red Table Talk / Via

    "While I understand that it is not always the most responsible position to take, especially when you are a public figure — this has just been my personal journey to not kill myself again."

    Her words seemed to resonate with both Jada and Willow. “I had the same experience," Jada began. "Got a level of success, pretty much got everything I had asked for — and had what I believe is a nervous breakdown, and also was suicidal. It’s happened twice in my life."

    Red Table Talk / Via

    "I found out the same thing — it was all based upon repressed rage. I was sitting upon so much rage that was covering my sorrow and despair. "

    "During the time when I was self-harming and in that really deep black hole, I felt exactly that," Willow added. "That numbness, I don’t feel on the outside so I’m trying to feel on the inside."

    Red Table Talk / Via

    Well I, for one, am grateful for these women's candor and outspokenness on such a difficult topic.

    Red Table Talk / Via

    You can watch the full Red Table Talk episode here.

    The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386. You can also text TALK to 741741 for free, anonymous 24/7 crisis support in the US and UK from the Crisis Text Line.

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