Here's Every Godforsaken Thought I Had While Watching The "Cinderella" Cast Stop Traffic With James Corden

    A...powerful 12 minutes.

    I knew this day would come. From the moment I saw that cursed, viral video of a grown man in a mouse costume hip thrusting on the street, I knew my days were numbered. And now it is here. Yes, dear reader: The Late Late Show With James Corden's "Crosswalk the Musical" rendition of Cinderella is here.

    Twitter: @_BlueAnt

    Of course, this isn't any old version of Cinderella. No, gone are the bygone days of 2015 when we had the last live-action version! No, this is the Amazon Prime version of Cinderella starring Camila Cabello...obviously.

    Poster with Camila as Cinderella holding a slipper and her hand on her hip

    If you haven't seen the James Corden crosswalk-musical shtick before, it's pretty simple: He gets artists to stage a performance of their work while drivers wait at a red light on the streets in LA. Of course, James himself gets rather involved. In this case, it does make sense, since he's in the movie as a mouse named James.

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    There's also some kind of running joke in the segment that everyone working on it hates James because he's an arrogant Hollywood type, which I will simply state here with no snarky comment attached. 

    Anyway, this time 'round, James was joined by Tony Award–winning musical theater icon Idina Menzel, along with Camila.

    Idina, Camila, and James as the Fairy Godmother wearing a pink frilly dress

    Billy Porter then shows up and calls James a "loathsome little BLEEP." Let's all imagine what he could have said here.

    Billy talks to James as Cinderella

    Behold, the music then begins. We open with a mashup of Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation" and "You Gotta Be" by Des'ree.

    A group of people dancing, some in mouse costumes

    Look at the despair on this poor man's face. Look at it.

    Person sitting in a car looking glum

    This woman just wants to go home.

    Woman wearing sunglasses and sitting in the driver's seat looking frustrated

    Now, it's quite hard to tell if the people who are honking throughout this are doing so out of enthusiasm or pure, seething rage. I've never driven in LA before, so I'll leave that question open.

    The cast performing Cinderella

    Next we have "Million to One," an original song for the movie.

    The cast performing in front of cars

    Lest I be accused of being biased, I will say that this man is clearly fuckin' loving life.

    Smiling man wearing sunglasses sits in the driver's seat and looks at the camera

    However, I will say that James dressed as a mouse, holding a giant sewing needle, and yelling at oncoming traffic is what will haunt my nightmares from here to eternity.

    James dressed as a mouse standing in the crosswalk and holding a chair

    Next we have Billy singing "Shining Star."

    Billy dressed in a tight purple bodysuit, platform boots, and a long coat dances with James in a dress

    And, to be fair, they brought an entire horse out. I can say neigh bad things about that...hahahhaha sorry.

    The cast standing in the crosswalk with a horse-drawn carriage in front of a car

    Then came the moment I knew would happen. The moment that drew me in, yet made me turn away. The thrust that launched a thousand memes.

    The cast performing in the crosswalk in front of a car

    If you thought I wouldn't bust out the GIF-making software for this, you'd be WRONG.

    A cover of "Let's Get Loud" by J.Lo plays! People are dancing in their cars! Everyone is having a nice time! Except for me, the bitterest woman alive.

    The cast performs in the crosswalk, throwing up their hands

    If this commentary has somehow convinced you to see more, you can watch the full video here. Happy Friday!