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    Chrissy Teigen Wrote A Lengthy Caption About Feeling "Lost" After Being "Cancelled"

    "If you or someone you know has also been cancelled, please let me know."

    Chrissy Teigen just posted about being in the "cancel club" following the backlash surrounding her tweets toward Courtney Stodden when they were a teenager.

    David Livingston / Getty Images

    Back in May, Courtney told the Daily Beast that, "[Chrissy] wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take 'a dirt nap' but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself. Things like, 'I can’t wait for you to die.'" Following the interview, resurfaced tweets showed Chrissy telling the then-16-year-old to "go to sleep forever."

    Courtney Stodden at a red carpet event
    Tibrina Hobson / Getty Images

    Chrissy apologized for the tweets, but the damage to Chrissy's career still happened — losing business deals and dropping out of an upcoming Netflix voiceover role.

    Axelle / FilmMagic / Getty Images

    Since then, her Instagram feed has felt fairly business as usual, with lots of pics of her family. However, today she uploaded a picture of her legs with a lengthy caption that explained how she's been doing.

    "I don’t really know what to say here," Chrissy wrote, "Just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter shit in real life. Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race."

    Axelle / FilmMagic / Getty Images

    "But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!!"

    "Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot," she continued. "Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning."

    "All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just...tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent shit anymore!"

    John Shearer / Getty Images

    "If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u," she concluded.

    Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images

    You can read more about what previously happened here.

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