• Viral badge

23 Ways You May Have Internalised Misogyny Without Even Realising

Because being a woman doesn’t mean you're free from misogynistic thoughts.

Internalised misogyny is when women police their own behaviour, and that of other women, to conform to societal ideals, even when it's detrimental to them or devalues women. Here are just some of the many ways in which we might do that.

1. You’ve been shocked/appalled/offended to see body hair on other women, even though you damn well know you have it too.

2. You've felt embarrassed by stubble on your body or that you should apologise for it.

3. You've automatically felt sorry for women who are over 40 and single.

4. You've said “You’ll change your mind” to women who say they don’t want children, or thought that such a decision is selfish, but would not say the same to a man.

5. You've thought there is something wrong with you for not wanting or not liking children.

6. You've thought a woman in a heterosexual relationship is “lucky” if her partner does domestic work or looks after the children, but wouldn't think the same if the roles were reversed.

7. You've assumed something negative about a woman because she spends a lot of time or money on her appearance.

8. You've judged other women for not wearing makeup/not spending a lot of time or money on their appearance.

9. You've taken pride in how much or how little time you spend on your grooming routine compared with others.

10. You've equated being sexually dominant and/or promiscuous to “having sex like a man”.

11. You've felt obligated to ensure a male partner climaxes during sex but you don’t demand or expect the same treatment from him, even though you really want it.

12. You've faked an orgasm while with a man because you didn't want to hurt his feelings or offend him.

13. You've judged a woman for keeping her full-time job after she's had a child.

14. You've judged a woman for not keeping her job after she's had a child.

15. You've felt embarrassed when talking about your period, or even buying sanitary items.

16. You've thought “you’re not like other girls” was a compliment.

17. You've been immediately threatened by another woman because you felt she was prettier than you, or you felt quietly assured because she wasn't as pretty as you.

18. You've judged other women for their sex life.

19. You’ve immediately assumed a woman was in a lower-ranked position than she is.

20. You've thought that you “just get along better with guys” because girls are “too bitchy”.

21. You've assumed that the fashion or beauty industries are more frivolous than other industries.

22. No matter how much you achieve and how incredible you are, you still feel shit about yourself because you don't feel pretty enough.

23. You've thought that you “don’t need feminism” because none of the main issues seem to affect your daily life.

We're all guilty of at least some of these behaviours, and that's okay! But if we can be aware of them and change our own thinking, we'll all be living in a far more supportive and accepting world.