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18 Things That Happen When A Brit Dates An Aussie

You swear and drink a lot more, and you know all the ways in which a funnel web spider might kill you.

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1. You know so much more about the beautiful flora and fauna of Australia than you ever thought you would.

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2. Including the many, many ways in which the said flora and fauna can kill you.

3. You also know that Australians love seeing the horror in people's eyes when they talk about how dangerous their wildlife is, so you continue making a horrified face even though you know exactly how funnel web spiders can kill you.

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Sure, you've heard this all before, but the sheer joy you see in the eyes of an Australian describing a cassowary attack is something you cannot deny them.

4. You’ve learned the frightening truth about kangaroos and koalas.

Kangaroos are bloody dangerous and most koalas have gonorrhoea, which makes them slightly less cute tbh.
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Kangaroos are bloody dangerous and most koalas have gonorrhoea, which makes them slightly less cute tbh.

5. You use the word "cunt" freely and liberally.

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It may have been a bit shocking before, but now it's second nature.

6. In fact, you just swear a whole lot more.

Even if you already thought you were pretty sweary, there's always room for more.
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Even if you already thought you were pretty sweary, there's always room for more.

7. You know that Foster's is a contentious drink, and not the popular beer the advertisements would have you think it is.

[American accent] Fosters, Australian for beer.

Most Australians, at least in my experience, describe it as none other than "piss water".

8. You're constantly reminded of which celebs are Aussie, as well as all the many ~cultural contributions~ Aussie's have made.

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Honestly, try watching Mad Max without being told how it's originally an Australian film.

9. You've developed an incredible tolerance to alcohol.

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10. As well as for caffeine.

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Australians did the whole fancy coffee shop thing long before the rest of the world.

11. You either develop a passionate love for Tim Tams, and wonder how you ever lived without them, or you have to always try to justify the travesty that is your tastebuds.

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12. "Vibe" becomes a stand-in word for everything.

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What even is the "vibe"? Australians are born with an innate understanding of the word that they cannot explain nor define.

13. You know that no beach is on par with Australian beaches.

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There's no point even arguing about it.

14. You've learnt to appreciate things you never did before, like cold weather.

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And not sweating like a pig on Christmas day.

15. You've been to a fair share of barbecues.

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You were definitely in awe the first time you witnessed a really Aussie throw a shrimp on the barbie (albeit probably ironically and just for you).

16. You've adopted a lowkey rivalry against New Zealanders.

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17. Your many attempts to do an Aussie accent are infinitely annoying to your S.O.

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It also sounds nothing like what your S.O. sounds like.

18. However, whatever affinity you gain for Australia and its people, you will always remain appalled that they got to compete in Eurovision.

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That's just wrong.