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32 Things Colder Than The Tube In Summer

The Central line is just slightly warmer than the fiery pits of hell.

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1. The seventh circle of hell.

2. The eighth and ninth circles of hell, too.

3. All hot food, but especially when you're really, really hungry and have little regard for the roof of your mouth.

4. Going to the gym and having an intense workout in a shearling jacket and thermals.

5. The rage you keep bottled up.

6. Actual lava.

7. Your phone when you're charging and using it simultaneously.

8. Cookies the moment you take them out of the oven.

9. A curry made entirely of chilli peppers, so basically a chilli smoothie.

10. The bottom of your laptop.

11. The bottom of your laptop when you're using it in bed and it's propped on top of your covers.


12. A hot water bottle filled with boiling water.

13. A hot water bottle filled with lava.

14. A hot water bottle filled with lava, and it's actually made of lava too, and it's on the sun.

15. Wearing a wool turtleneck in the middle of the Sahara.

16. Wearing socks, jogging bottoms, and a long-sleeve jumper in bed.

17. A sauna with a capacity of 10 people filled with 16 sweaty, hairy people.

18. Sharing a bed with someone when you have a memory foam mattress.

19. Soup on a fine summer's day.

20. Having a meeting with the entire office in that one meeting room that definitely isn't big enough to contain so many people.

21. Your face when your crush compliments you.

22. That mixtape that's dropping.

23. A radiator from the 1950s.

24. Wearing tights underneath trousers.

25. Your car when it's been in the sun all day with the windows closed.

26. The bottle of water that was in the car and in the sun all day.

27. Literally any concert, ever.

28. Your shower whenever you try to make it slightly warmer but it's actually
hypersensitive and starts spouting scorching hot water.

29. Doing hot yoga in a spacesuit.

30. Wrapping yourself in foil like a jacket potato and just laying on a sunny beach in Greece for 12 hours.

31. The sun.

32. All the stars in the universe, combined into one burning inferno.