1. Asos seems to be planning something.
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2. Because everything it's selling seems to have already been sported by Paris Hilton a decade ago.
3. What can their intentions be?
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4. It certainly can't be something coincidental. I mean, look at this.
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5. It is absolutely impossible to sell Juicy Couture tracksuits without thinking of Paris Hilton.
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6. This has to have been a conscious decision.
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7. Someone high up at Asos must have said to themselves: "Enough! I've had enough of minimalism!"
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8. Obviously, the natural antithesis of minimalism is not maximalism, as many might think, but Paris Hiltonism.
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9. Asos obviously wants you to throw out your culottes and white tees.
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10. And replace them with diamanté and pink frills.
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12. Also, tutus. They're back.
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14. It's about time, really.
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15. Because Paris is bloody iconic.
16. So let's just give her the recognition she deserves.
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17. Because some occasions call for metallic fabrics, really.
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18. Asos just wants us to welcome pink back into our wardrobes.
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19. And we should all be OK with that.
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Just maybe not the bunny ears, though.
