15 Old Inventions That I Am Glad I Have Never Had To Use

So cumbersome. How do you fit it in your bag? You need a lot of space to unfurl it, too. So glad we just have good ol’ laminated paper for our important paper needs now.

Why do you want just one eye to be able to see?

Nothing says “bourgeoisie” more than glasses that force you to look down on someone whilst sticking your nose up in the air.

Look, I get that vinyl provides a really good warm sound you can’t get with digital files or whatever, but I always imagine dropping a tangerine in a gramophone and never being able to get it out or use the damn thing again, and just having the smell of a slowly decomposing tangerine constantly lingering.

I feel like the horses don’t enjoy it and I doubt they’re fairly compensated for their labour.

Fire hazard and probably don’t even smell nice.

Fire hazard and definitely don’t smell nice.

Guaranteed way to get ink everywhere tbh.

I can already feel the searing rage of a lot of literary nerds because of this inclusion, but frankly if having to restart a whole thing because you accidentally typed “helo” instead of “hello” is fine by you, then you have a lot more time than me and I will hear no more of this.

These are probably still used now but much less often, which means they are far less likely to fall onto your head.

I feel like this actually makes maths more complicated somehow.

I do not want to mangle anything, let alone risk the possibility of being mangled myself.

I just don't think butter is good enough to justify all that work.

How do they stay on your head while you’re sleeping?

Perhaps I am getting the direction of causality wrong here, but I feel like as soon as anyone puts one of these one, the Loch Ness Monster immediately manifests in front of them.