AubergineVia ThinkstockCourgetteVia Thinkstock
Aubergine is the best vegetable.
There's a reason there isn't a courgette emoji.
CabbageVia ThinkstockLettuceVia Thinkstock
Cabbage is far superior.
Lettuce is just a filler, it's the canvas of a salad. Cabbage has the potential to be the star, the artwork itself.
ParsnipsVia ThinkstockCarrotsVia Thinkstock
Carrots are the best.
Have you ever heard of a parsnip cake? No, because parsnips are shit.
CauliflowerVia ThinkstockBroccoliVia Thinkstock
Broccoli is better.
Sure, cauliflower can be good. But really, it's broccoli's boring cousin.
Via ThinkstockVia Thinkstock
Red onion is better.
What sort of unhinged person would choose a white onion over red?
KaleVia ThinkstockSpinachVia Thinkstock
Spinach is better than kale.
If Beyoncé hadn't worn that sweatshirt, would kale really be such a thing?
ArtichokeVia ThinkstockAsparagusVia Thinkstock
Asparagus is better.
Artichokes are pretty good, but asparagus is far more delicious.
RadishesVia ThinkstockTurnipsVia Thinkstock
Radishes are better.
It's common knowledge that the radish is the cuter, more fun, younger sister of the turnip.
CeleryVia ThinkstockCucumberVia Thinkstock
Cucumber is better.
No amount of peanut butter can redeem celery.
Regular potatoesVia ThinkstockSweet potatoesVia Thinkstock
Sweet potatoes are better.
Regular potatoes are to sweet potatoes what virgin cocktails are to alcoholic cocktails.