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21 Tweets That Are Really Weird But Will Make You Laugh, For Some Reason

"Every year thousands of boyfriends are hunted for their jeans alone."

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1.

Me, absolutely twisted, coming home with a load of swords. Me waking up the next day with a room full of swords.

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every year thousands of boyfriends are hunted for their jeans alone

3.

Saw some pigeon detectives down at the lake trying to solve a murder.

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I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (Oooooo)/ I am four eels/ Never meant to make your daughter cry/ I am several fish and not a guy

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I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (ooo) A truck full of eels Overturned on U.S. 101 It was shipping hell snakes by the ton https://t.co/QqsX8ekoA2

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You: Jon Bon Jovi Me, an intellectual: Jonathan Bonathan Jovi

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*Clears throat as if to announce something extremely important* "Jurassic Park" but the dinosaurs are from the ‘90s… https://t.co/au5fXRD9YE

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[squeezing by someone in McDonald's] McScuse me

13.

You already know what the fuck is going on

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ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick. ME: *pecks at the ground* Excellent.

16.

HE MONCH BUTT - renaissance painting, 1602

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1960s: let's invent the internet in case there's a nuclear winter and no way of communication the internet today:

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me: [flashlight under chin] they say a witch cursed this house 100 years ago today! [100 years ago] witch: fuck this house

19.

When a witch says your tongue has to float in the middle of your mouth without touching anything or you'll die.

20.

Wife: we have to get rid of these ants Me: if u don't look at them they disappear Wife: that's ignorant Me: i know the technical term linda

21.

i 👏 was 👏 cursed 👏 by 👏 the 👏 clapping 👏 wizard 👏 and 👏 i 👏 am 👏 on 👏 a 👏 quest 👏 to 👏 kill 👏 him 👏 will 👏 you 👏 help 👏 me 👏 adventurer

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