1. These camel toe guards.
For when you don't want the world do know that you have a vulva. Apparently they're sported by the one and only Kim K.
2. And from the same brand, here's some pubic hair dye.
Clearly, the most pressing question here is why purple is the only colour deemed "sexy" from this selection. Who made the executive decision that pubes are most sexy when purple?
3. This face-slimmer.
4. A 24k gold face mask.
5. But if £55 for a tub of gold to smear on to your face is a bit too dear, you can get these gold eye masks for just 99p.
Supposedly consisting of 24k gold and collagen.
6. In fact, face mask sheets in general are real popular right now.
7. This totally pious beauty kit.
8. Genital dye.
9. Bumhole bleach.
10. Evian Mineral Water Spray.
11. A spoon specifically designed to scrape out the last bit of your products.
12. This nose-straightening clip.
13. This sleeping mask.
14. This chin-slimming strap.
Mould your doughy face into a more appealing doughy face.
15. Placenta moisturising cream.
16. Coloured shaving cream.
This is a shaving cream, except unlike normal shaving cream, it comes in different colours. Also, it has an "invigorating and reassuringly masculine" scent. This way, you can have fun and be reassured about your masculinity while shaving!