1. Festivals are basically camping, but instead of peaceful nature and scenic views, you get a drunk 19-year-old waking you up at 4am by pissing on your tent. Twitter: @Benoo_Brown Basically, it's camping without any of the nice redeeming bits. 2. They're a double kind of dirty: They're full of actual dirt, but also the debris of several thousand drunk humans and far too few toilet facilities. Mj Kim / Getty Images 3. So if you wear contact lenses, hygiene is a consistent worry. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF PUNCHROBERT / Via youtube.com Do you sleep in them and risk infection, or do you take them out and risk infection? 4. You will come in contact with bodily fluids that you never wished to come in contact with. cara @CaraWalker95 A naked guy has turned up at the campsite and took a shite in someone's tent #TITP2015 11:32 PM - 11 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite Some genius will throw a bottle of piss for some reason, and at least a few droplets of said piss will land on your person. 5. The weather will never be as good as you hope it'll be. imgur.com It'll either rain and you'll drown in a sea of mud, or it'll be so sunny that you'll marinate in your own sweat, and everyone else's, the entire time you're there. 6. You'll somehow reach that incredible stage of being slightly too warm in some parts, too cold in others, and damp all over. Facebook: 653789334701294 7. By the end of the weekend, you can smell the portaloos before you see them. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Fox Network 8. Even if you are in the nice bits and have paid premium, or got into the VIP area, the toilets still stink and it's still dirty. Twitter: @DanielRosney Honestly I cannot believe there is a massive industry based around people paying hundreds of pounds to use a portaloo for the weekend? 9. The fashion is deeply predictable. Twitter: @muammarfox It's like everyone puts on a "free-spirited and culturally appropriative" character costume for the weekend. 10. You will definitely see a pair of tits and/or a dick that you did not wish to see. Twitter: @DanielRosney Look, I'm all for nudity, but I believe that the consent goes both ways. First, the person being nude must consent to being nude. Secondly, the person who is witnessing the nudity must also consent to it. I do not wish to be accosted by the sight of a stranger's willy flapping about in the breeze in broad daylight. 11. Most of your time there will actually be spent idly wandering from one end of the giant field to another. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Comedy Central 12. You will probably miss at least one of the acts you wanted to see. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF E4 Probably because you were idly wandering around in a giant field. 13. You will definitely meet an intolerable shit who tells you he's a shaman whilst wearing an outfit entirely made out of hemp. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF BBC Three You are not a shaman, Barney, you're a 19-year-old pharmaceutical sciences undergraduate from Winchester. 14. The food is overpriced and you'll probably have to eat it on the floor. View this photo on Instagram instagram.com It'll also be some sort of travesty labeled as a "fusion", like haggis curry in a burrito. It'll also cost about the same as a return flight to Frankfurt. 15. You will probably be caught in a stampede and lose all your friends, and feel like you're a kid again and you can't find your mum at the supermarket. Mr. Rager @MrRagerx when you lose all your homies at a festival 😂😂 09:53 PM - 03 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. You'll inevitably lose some sort of precious possession. Chloe Aviva @chloifornia Just got a random flashback of losing my (flip)phone at Coachella 09, when I picked it up from lost and found they were reading all my texts 04:39 PM - 14 Jun 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Maybe your keys, your favourite sunglasses, or your dignity. Either way, the festival season demands a sacrifice. 17. You will spend longer recovering from the festival than you actually spent at the festival. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF DreamWorks Distribution Even if you didn't get totally wasted, you'll need several days to recover from laying half-awake on a cold floor for three nights. 18. Worst of all, it's probably the worst environment in which to listen to live music. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF youtube.com How good can the acoustics be in a giant field full of distracted, drunk teenagers? 19. And you're actually expected to pay an extortionate amount of money for this experience. Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Nickelodeon Network Let me give you a tip: You do not need to pay hundreds of pounds to smell other people's piss and to not be able to hear your favourite band play.