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Posted on Oct 8, 2015

22 Pictures That Prove Asos Is Conspiring To Turn Us All Into Cher

By selling us her entire wardrobe.

1. There is something a little odd happening at Asos.

Michael Ochs / Getty
http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Cross-Wrap-Halter-Bikini-Top/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4230226

2. So much of what it's selling has already been worn by Cher long before Asos came into our lives.

Ron Galella / Getty
http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-COME-ON-THEN-Knee-High-Boots/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5482555&cid=6455&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Snake&totalstyles=475&gridsize=3

3. The most logical explanation is that someone high up in the company made an executive decision to do this.

Ron Galella / Getty
http://www.asos.com/bluebella/bluebella-allure-lace-body-stocking/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4179799&clr=Black&SearchQuery=lace+bodysuit&pgesize=27&pge=1&totalstyles=63&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=2

4. It is far too coincidental to simply be fashion repeating itself.

Michael Ochs Archives / Getty
http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-cross-front-super-full-skater/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4663706&clr=Red&SearchQuery=red+cross+dress&pgesize=23&pge=0&totalstyles=23&gridsize=3&gridrow=7&gridcolumn=1

5. Rather, this is a case of fashion repeating Cher.

Michael Ochs Archives / Getty
http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-jacket-in-crepe-with-lapel-detail/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4981786&clr=Dustyblue&SearchQuery=blue+suit&pgesize=11&pge=0&totalstyles=11&gridsize=3&gridrow=3&gridcolumn=1

6. Imagine the scene at Asos headquarters...

Tri-Star Pictures
http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Faux-Fur-Coat-In-Vintage-Shearling/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4334437

7. Sitting at a mahogany desk in a leather chair, the CEO of Asos sighed and said: "That's it. There is no more fashion. We have designed all the fashion and there is no fashion left."

Harry Langdon / Getty
http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-cindy-lace-high-leg-body/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5324485&clr=Black&SearchQuery=lace+body&pgesize=36&pge=0&totalstyles=62&gridsize=3&gridrow=7&gridcolumn=3

8. “We may as well close up shop forever – unless any of you nerds have any ideas?” said the CEO, addressing the meeting cave full of fashion elves.

Michael Ochs Archives / Getty
http://www.asos.com/urbancode/urbancode-faux-fur-chevron-stripe-coat/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5587739&clr=Multichevron&SearchQuery=fur+coat+chevron&pgesize=2&pge=0&totalstyles=2&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=2

9. “How about Cher?” said a small voice from the back of the meeting cave, which was nestled atop a snow-covered mountain.

Michael Ochs Archives / Getty
http://www.asos.com/glamorous-petite/glamorous-petite-printed-jersey-flare/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5160492&clr=Orange&SearchQuery=flares&pgesize=7&pge=0&totalstyles=7&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=2

10. “Speak up, child,” said the wizened old CEO. "My robotic ears are not what they used to be."

Hulton Archive / Getty
http://www.asos.com/flynn-skye/flynn-skye-striped-flare-trousers/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5042487&clr=Burgundystripe&SearchQuery=vertical+stripe+flares&pgesize=19&pge=0&totalstyles=19&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=3
http://www.asos.com/glamorous/glamorous-leather-look-trench-coat/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5579036&clr=Wine&SearchQuery=leather+coat&pgesize=36&pge=0&totalstyles=186&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=3

11. Taking a big breath, the little fashion elf said, more loudly this time, “How about we replicate every one of Cher’s vast array of fabulous outfits and sell them to unsuspecting consumers?”

Harry Langdon / Getty
http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Ultimate-70s-Blouse/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5595878&cid=11318&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Cream&totalstyles=519&gridsize=3

12. Silence filled the cave atop the snow-covered mountain in an unidentified part of the world.

Richard Avedon / Vogue, 1972
http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Sequin-Kimono-Maxi-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5000712

13. No one had ever suggested something so bold.

Barry King / Getty
http://www.asos.com/Milk-It/The-Ragged-Priest-Mom-Jeans-With-Holographic-Sequin-Patch-Detail-Co-ord/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4630169

14. “You,” began the boss...

Ron Galella / Getty
http://www.asos.com/forever-unique/forever-unique-sarah-maxi-dress-with-feathered-skirt/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5246744&clr=Champagne&SearchQuery=FEATHER+DRESS&pgesize=16&pge=0&totalstyles=16&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=3

15. "...are a goddamn genius."

http://lansuresmusicparaphernalia.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/cher-sonny-cher-press-kits-memorabilia.html
http://us.asos.com/ASOS-Midi-Dress-with-Cut-Outs-in-Floral-Print/170z5h/?iid=5409373&WT.ac=ASOS_Magazine&mporgp=Lw..&r=2

16. "Her past outfits will give us enough designs for at least another 100 seasons!" the boss exclaimed.

Time & Life Pictures / Getty
http://www.asos.com/lipsy/lipsy-lace-off-shoulder-mini-bodycon-dress/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5053231&clr=Black&SearchQuery=OFF+SHOULDER+LACE&pgesize=28&pge=0&totalstyles=28&gridsize=3&gridrow=8&gridcolumn=2

17. "And her immortality will give us infinite designs in the future!"

Richard Lautens / Getty
http://us.asos.com/Helene-Berman-Notch-Collar-Edge-to-Edge-Jacket-in-Snake-Print/13yk05/?iid=4308214

18. And so it was.

Michael Ochs Archives / Getty
http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-the-ultimate-cami/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5521168&clr=Rust&SearchQuery=ORANGE+CAMI&pgesize=34&pge=0&totalstyles=34&gridsize=3&gridrow=2&gridcolumn=1
http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-flare-jeans-with-patch-pockets-in-true-blue-wash/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5311832&clr=Darkstonewash&SearchQuery=flare+jeans&pgesize=36&pge=0&totalstyles=180&gridsize=3&gridrow=12&gridcolumn=1

19. From that day forth, the cave walls of the Asos headquarters were permanently plastered with pictures of Cher.

Harry Langdon / Getty
http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Crop-Top-with-Bardot-Sweetheart-Neckline/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3235144

20. So, thank you, Cher, for your excellent outfits.

Warner Bros.
http://www.asos.com/asos/asos-denim-lightwash-full-length-dungaree/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4926636&clr=Lightwash&SearchQuery=dungarees&pgesize=36&pge=0&totalstyles=127&gridsize=3&gridrow=8&gridcolumn=1

21. And for allowing Asos to continue making enough money to rent out an office in a cave atop a snow-covered mountain.

David Redfern / Getty
http://www.asos.com/NaaNaa/NaaNaa-Lace-Up-Front-Body/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5591797

22. 💃Cher 💕

Norman Seeff / Warner Bros
http://www.asos.com/ASOS-Tall/ASOS-TALL-Cropped-Wrap-Front-Blouse/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=5002958

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