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What Would Make You Say "No" To This Almost Perfect House?

It might be haunted.

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The house is perfect on paper: It's listed as a "slight fixer upper," but the floor plans look like they have ~good bones~, and it's at the bottom of your budget.

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The location is icing on the cake: it's in your dream subdivision, walking distance from a neighborhood pool, close to lots of good restaurants, in a top a school district, and is a reasonable distance from your family and friends.

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  1. 1. Every time you visit, both next-door neighbors stand in their front yards frowning and staring at you until you go inside. Would you still buy?

    Sure, I'll just continue to say hi and smile.
    I'd buy, I don't care about neighbors.
    I probably wouldn't buy — good neighbors matter to me.

What Would Make You Say "No" To This Almost Perfect House?

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1. Every time you visit, both next-door neighbors stand in their front yards frowning and staring at you until you go inside. Would you still buy?
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    Sure, I'll just continue to say hi and smile.
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    I'd buy, I don't care about neighbors.
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    I probably wouldn't buy — good neighbors matter to me.
  1. 2. Well, okay, the entryway is covered in terrible '70s wood paneling. Would that bother you enough to not buy the house?

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    Nope! It's basically vertical shiplap. Just add white paint.
    No! I love that aesthetic.
    No, but I'd replace it pretty quickly.
    I'll finish the tour, but ugh, idk.

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2. Well, okay, the entryway is covered in terrible '70s wood paneling. Would that bother you enough to not buy the house?
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    Nope! It's basically vertical shiplap. Just add white paint.
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    No! I love that aesthetic.
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    No, but I'd replace it pretty quickly.
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    I'll finish the tour, but ugh, idk.
  1. 3. You walk into the kitchen and it is decidedly NOT updated. Does this mean the house is off the table?

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    Nope. *makes list of DIY kitchen supplies*
    Depends on how much below our budget this house actually ends up being.
    No. Tbh I'm not a kitchen person
    Yes, I don't way to deal with renovations.

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3. You walk into the kitchen and it is decidedly NOT updated. Does this mean the house is off the table?
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    Nope. *makes list of DIY kitchen supplies*
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    Depends on how much below our budget this house actually ends up being.
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    No. Tbh I'm not a kitchen person
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    Yes, I don't way to deal with renovations.
  1. 4. Well, what if the oven door inexplicably slams open after you pass by?

    ...I'd run out of the house right then and there.
    I'd peer at the door closely — it's probably broken.
    I'd let my real estate agent close it, but I'd still buy.

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4. Well, what if the oven door inexplicably slams open after you pass by?
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    ...I'd run out of the house right then and there.
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    I'd peer at the door closely — it's probably broken.
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    I'd let my real estate agent close it, but I'd still buy.
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  1. 5. Okay, but then the agent mentions that there was an unsolved murder 15 years ago in the master bedroom. Are you still interested in this house?

    Eek. Nope, I'm out, no matter how perfect the rest of the house is.
    *Googles the murder* That's terrible, but yes, I'd still buy.
    This is a major strike, but it depends on the rest of the tour.
    This doesn't bother me at all.

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5. Okay, but then the agent mentions that there was an unsolved murder 15 years ago in the master bedroom. Are you still interested in this house?
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    Eek. Nope, I'm out, no matter how perfect the rest of the house is.
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    *Googles the murder* That's terrible, but yes, I'd still buy.
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    This is a major strike, but it depends on the rest of the tour.
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    This doesn't bother me at all.
  1. 6. At least the master bath is ensuite. Except the tub, toilet, and sink are a sickly green color, and not in a cool vintage way.

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    What's wrong with green bathrooms?
    IDC, they sell cheap kits to redo those.
    It's fine, we'll have room in the budget to remodel.
    On top of the murder and '70s paneling? I'm out.

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6. At least the master bath is ensuite. Except the tub, toilet, and sink are a sickly green color, and not in a cool vintage way.
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    What's wrong with green bathrooms?
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    IDC, they sell cheap kits to redo those.
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    It's fine, we'll have room in the budget to remodel.
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    On top of the murder and '70s paneling? I'm out.
  1. 7. Turns out the other bedrooms don't have any closets *at all*. Is this house still in contention?

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    That's *literally* why they make wardrobes.
    Have you seen my kid's closet? There's no way that can work.
    Yes, would def make that compromise.
    WTF NO CLOSETS? Wouldn't buy.

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7. Turns out the other bedrooms don't have any closets *at all*. Is this house still in contention?
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    That's *literally* why they make wardrobes.
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    Have you seen my kid's closet? There's no way that can work.
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    Yes, would def make that compromise.
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    WTF NO CLOSETS? Wouldn't buy.
  1. 8. What if a pop star lived here in the nineties, says the house was haunted, and credits the ghosts for inspiring their album? AND that means fans start to drive by all the time?

    Would still buy, it's cool to live in a famous house.
    I don't care at all, would still buy.
    This haunting stuff's getting to be a little much. Wouldn't buy.
    Ugh, the stream of tourists kills the mood. Wouldn't buy.

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8. What if a pop star lived here in the nineties, says the house was haunted, and credits the ghosts for inspiring their album? AND that means fans start to drive by all the time?
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    Would still buy, it's cool to live in a famous house.
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    I don't care at all, would still buy.
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    This haunting stuff's getting to be a little much. Wouldn't buy.
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    Ugh, the stream of tourists kills the mood. Wouldn't buy.
  1. 9. OKAY BUT WHAT IF there's obvious water damage all over the ceiling?

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    Yes , I don't care.
    Nope, I'm out.

What Would Make You Say "No" To This Almost Perfect House?

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9. OKAY BUT WHAT IF there's obvious water damage all over the ceiling?
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    Yes , I don't care.
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    Nope, I'm out.
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  1. 10. AND broken hinges on half of the bathroom cabinets?

    Getty
    Still gonna buy.
    Not gonna buy.

What Would Make You Say "No" To This Almost Perfect House?

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10. AND broken hinges on half of the bathroom cabinets?
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    Still gonna buy.
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    Not gonna buy.
  1. 11. AND a 20-inch crack in the living room wall you spot hidden behind some art?

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    Still buy.
    Won't buy.

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11. AND a 20-inch crack in the living room wall you spot hidden behind some art?
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    Still buy.
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    Won't buy.
  1. 12. WHEN DO YOU CALL IT QUITS? What if you hallucinate blood dripping from the wallpaper in the upstairs hall?

    I'm still going to buy this house.
    No, okay, I don't need to live there.

What Would Make You Say "No" To This Almost Perfect House?

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12. WHEN DO YOU CALL IT QUITS? What if you hallucinate blood dripping from the wallpaper in the upstairs hall?
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    I'm still going to buy this house.
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    No, okay, I don't need to live there.
  1. 13. AND it turns out the gorgeous fireplace would probably start a chimney fire.

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    Yep, still buying.
    Definitely the deal-breaker, not buying.

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13. AND it turns out the gorgeous fireplace would probably start a chimney fire.
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    Yep, still buying.
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    Definitely the deal-breaker, not buying.
  1. 14. AND all the electrical outlets look like this.

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    I'll replace them. Still would buy.
    I made it this far, but here I quit.

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14. AND all the electrical outlets look like this.
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    I'll replace them. Still would buy.
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    I made it this far, but here I quit.
  1. 15. AND you watch this whole TV special about the house's history, detailing the tragic things that happened there?

    Still. Buying.
    I'm out.

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15. AND you watch this whole TV special about the house's history, detailing the tragic things that happened there?
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    Still. Buying.
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    I'm out.
  1. 16. EVEN WITH ALL OF THAT, would you still buy this house?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    cheezburger.com

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16. EVEN WITH ALL OF THAT, would you still buy this house?
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