1. A foaming garbage disposal cleaner that you simply drop in, run a little water, then let its fizz reach down into the depths of your disposer for you, ridding it of any built-up slime and grossness.
2. And a garbage disposal cleaning brush you can reuse indefinitely to disperse all the gunk and buildup stuck lurking just beneath the rubber splash guard.
3. A pack of dishwasher tablets — toss in one tablet once a month, and it'll make sure your machine gets (and stays!) just about as clean as it could possibly be, even if you have tons of rust or calcium buildup.
4. A pack of six machine-washable, 100% cotton flannel reusable Swiffer cloths, so you can have all the quick and easy convenience of a Swiffer, but with less waste and zero extra hand-washing effort.
5. A pack of bubbling cleaning tablets because you simply plop one into any permanently-stained mug, coffee pot, slow cooker, or tumbler to fizz out stains, odors, and gunk with literally no elbow grease or scrubbing required.
6. A ~volcanic~ microwave cleaner that despite it's cutesy appearance, will mercilessly steam up those cooked-on bits of mystery food caked on the sides, bottom, and top, so you can easily wipe them away.
7. A glass cooktop cleaning kit packed with everything you need to shine up even the messiest burner so it gleams like it did the day you moved in.
8. A stainless steel cleaner and polish because you don't want to take the time to do much more than spray something on then wipe it off, but also demand perfection in just one go.
9. A pet hair-removing roller that you quickly roll back and forth over any fabric surface to pick up basically every last bit of shedding your furry friend's always leaving in their wake, no sticky sheets required.
10. And a big squeegee broom — it sweeps up the piles of hair invisibly embedded in your carpet and scattered over your hardwood or tile floor that even the most powerful pet hair vacuum can't hope to get.
11. A coconut-based laundry stain pre-treat stick that you quickly rub on any fabric to ensure that all kinds of stains like oil, makeup, food, dirt, and even poop come out in the washer cycle, no need to hand-wash the stain out beforehand.
12. A pumice stone to vanquish those built-up hard water stains in literally one-sixth of an hour.
13. Plus an overnight tank cleaner because your bowl will probably stay nicer for longer if the water you use to flush sits somewhere that's not thickly caked with rust.
14. A soft cleanser so you can finally banish those built-up hard water stains on your shower glass in the span of a regular commercial break. Then after the show, reach for it to shine up your cooktop, your stainless or porcelain sink, and any copper, chrome, or brass you happen to own.
15. And a daily shower spray because it only requires a few spritzes in bathtub/shower situations — and will totally block that tedious buildup on your glass-enclosed shower from reappearing, especially when you combine its powers with your favorite squeegee.
16. A stamp-in gel that takes two seconds to apply, and works every time you flush to keep your toilet sparkling clean week after week.
17. Or a pack of 12 hydrogen peroxide-infused toilet bombs because, with regular use, they can get rid of any built-up mineral scale in the toilet (and just might help keep it away for good).
18. A carpet and upholstery stain remover so you can extract all kinds of dirt, rust, grease, food, and other stains that you haven't been able to get out using literally anything else.
19. A specialty dryer vent cleaning kit and brush that (optionally) attaches to your drill, because lint can seriously build up in those vents and once you push the excess out, you'll reduce your fire risk and your clothes will dry faster (which means you'll save on energy bills).
20. A leather stain remover spray because even though leather's usually relatively stain resistant, years with kids, pets, spouses, or just our own messy selves eventually take their toll, and this will basically turn the clock back for your furniture.
21. A bottle of lemon-scented furniture dusting spray made with organic olive and sunflower oils, meaning it can make your wood, laminate, and (some reviewers say) even your leather goods and car interior glow like they've just been to the spa.
22. A set of three drill scrub brushes so you can quickly shine up all kinds of impossibly dirty surfaces. The embedded grit in your tubs, showers, grout, and oven doesn't stand a chance!
23. A rust stain remover perfect for anything coated in a thin crust of orange — a few sprays and a final wipe of this stuff will actually make your bathroom look brand new again.
24. The Drain Weasel, which reaches down into hair-clogged drains, twists around so its micro-hooks can grab on tight, then extracts the gross slime-and-hair monster that's been slowing down your sink and tub.
25. An oil stain remover that works wonders on basically any kind of stone (whether it's untreated *or* sealed and polished) because you shouldn't have to live with the consequences of that one leaky bottle of olive oil.
26. A bottle of jetted tub cleaner because over the years those pipes get coated in soap, dead skin cells, and all kinds of other gunk that you definitely don't want keeping you company in your relaxing bath. And it takes just 15 minutes to see results; simply run your water, pour in some cleaner, and start your jets.
27. A barracuda cleaner that crawls along the walls, floors, and steps of your pool to devour all the lingering dirt, bugs, leaves, sand, and pebbles. You might not *think* such a small thing could make a difference, but reviewers say it truly does.
28. A wood polish and conditioner that can erase damage as if it was never there, like those spots on your antique beside tables that have had one too many water glasses sweat on them overnight.
29. A bottle of Goo Gone because even though it may not seem like the oily liquid will be able to tackle that mysterious sticky substance on your floor — whether it's tape residue, old stickers (including bumper stickers), glue stains, and dried bits of that slime kids love so much — over 8,000 5-star reviewers will tell you it definitely can.
30. A wine stain remover that will dissipate even dried, set-in spills completely, and all you have to do is spritz, blot, repeat.
31. A cast-iron scrubber made from chain mail (yes, like the knights wore!), which you might not expect to be effective but beats coaxing all the cooked-on bits out with tons of salt in a time trial any day — and gives you better results.
32. A carpet freshening powder because while you may wonder just how effective scattering the stuff over your cooking-smell-infused living room rug might be, you'll be thrilled when you vacuum it all up 15 minutes later and realize the odor is significantly diminished.
33. A carpet shampooer that will scrub away then suck out years worth of mystery stains now, leaving your floors looking fresh, then come in handy over and over later, whenever you discover your spouse / toddler / teen / pet left you a surprise... like, several weeks ago. WHY.
You, after you've made your entire home sparkle:
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.