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1. A programmable timer that transforms your hose and sprinkler into a ~sprinkler system~: you just press a few buttons to tell it when to water, how long to water, and how often to repeat.
2. A quick-to-install drip kit that'll let you kick back, chill out and just enjoy your garden instead of watering all the freaking time.
3. Or a soaker hose you can run through your beds and along your rows of veggies to keep them hydrated all season long.
4. A chemical-free miracle weeder that doesn't require bending down to pull up those rogue dandelions sprouting between your rows of squash.
5. A raised, irrigated porch garden that you can guarantee veggies from whether you keep it on your home's patio or set it out on your apartment's balcony.
6. Sleek slate row labels that will proudly proclaim which plant in your garden is which.
7. Or copper ones that'll stand out elegantly, no matter how you decide to label them.
8. A silvery baby elephant watering pail who will cheerily help you keep your container garden in tip-top shape.
9. But if you don't like refilling a pail over and over, a handy nozzle for your hose with eight different settings that can gently shower your plants and blast dirt off your car's wheels.
10. Or a 24-inch-long brass ~watering lance~ that makes it easy to reach deep into rows of fully-grown plants.
11. A no-batteries-required meter that'll report on your soil's moisture and pH levels, plus the intensity of the light, so you can easily adjust everything as needed.
12. Cast-iron edging that'll always look nice, even if your plants aren't doing exactly what you wish they would.
13. A minimalist gardening knife that can tackle almost any task you set it to, whether you're weeding, digging, pruning, measuring, or harvesting.
14. A pair of socks perfect for a leisurely Saturday afternoon spent tending all your favorite green and growing things.
15. A pair of mini pruners that'll make quick and precise work of snipping off deadheads, so your flowering bushes and vines bloom and bloom and bloom.
16. Or a pair of ergonomic heavier-duty pruners that might actually last you for years, no matter how often you use them.
17. Breathable gloves that'll protect your hands *without* making you s-w-e-a-t more in the summer heat, because they're made from breathable bamboo.
18. A padded kneeler that flips upside-down into a sturdy seat so you can get down and dirty with your favorite plants despite any back or knee pain.
19. Or a simple memory foam kneeling pad if you'd rather just tote around something smaller.
20. A wood potting bench that'll keep all of your favorite tools and potting supplies handy so it's never a hassle to repot a plant that needs it.
21. A handy storage apron that'll keep all your tools (and your phone) out of the way but still close at hand, as you tend row after row of your perfect lettuce crop.
22. A bamboo house that'll attract gentle mason bees, who will happily pollinate all of your plants.
23. Supportive, waterproof gardening clogs that you can easily slip on whenever you want to wander or work in your garden.
24. A wall gardening system for growing your own outdoor green wall art.
25. Lightweight fabric grow bags perfect for moving plants around or just having a manageable container garden, especially in a small space.
26. A heavy-duty dump cart that'll cheerfully tote all your new flowers around, then help you move literal tons of rock (one load at a time), no problem.
27. And...a gnomezilla sure to bring a smile to your face every time you encounter him.
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.