Quiz

Community Contributor

Want to know the name of your firstborn? Design your dream Nalgene, and we'll tell you.

two nalgene water bottles next to each other

Build Your Dream Nalgene And We'll Tell You The Name Of Your Firstborn

Build Your Dream Nalgene To Get A Kid's Name

What Color is it?

What Color is the cap?

What Material is it made of?

How many stickers are on it?

Does your bottle have a school/institution name on it?

How old is your nalgene?

What does your nalgene carry?

Alexanders are bougie. You like bougie Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming with bouginess, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the bougie name of Alexander.

Alexander

The nalgene you created clearly shows that you are anti-Nalgene. Achla is an aggressively anti-Nalgene name from the outset, so you're bound to name your firstborn Achla to perpetuate your anti-Nalgene culture.

Achla

You created a cool nalgene, so your kid's going to have a cool name too :)

Shreya

Graces are elegant. You like elegant Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming gracefulness, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the graceful name of Grace.

Grace

Sams are hardcore. You like hardcore Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming hardcore (or Parkour), and you're thus going to give your firstborn the parkour name of Sam.

Jacks are chill. You like chill Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming chill vibes, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the chill name of Jack.

Jack

Jillians are organized. You like organized Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming organization, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the organized name of Jillian.

Jillian

Aidans are parkour. You like hardcore Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming parkour, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the parkour name of Aidan.

Aidan

Meenas are fun. You like fun Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming fun, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the fun name of Meena.

Meena

Brians are smart. You like smart Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb discussing philosophy, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the intellectual name of Brian (it is after all very similar to the word "brain," which is their prime organ).

Brian

Davids are kind. You like kind Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb radiating good vibes, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the kind name of David.

David

Connors are jacked. You like ripped Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb with muscles bigger than yours, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the powerful name of Connor.

Connor

Gavins are witty. You like a witty Nalgene, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb cracking jokes, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the funny name of Gavin.

Gavin

Yolandas are cultured. You like a cultured Nalgene, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb with a solid understanding of pop culture, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the name of Yolanda.

Yolanda

Carlys are web stars. You like a webstar Nalgene, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb while making their thirtieth TikTok (that's right – they were TikTok-ing in the womb), and you're thus going to give your firstborn the social media-savvy name of Carly.

Carly

Jades are intense. You like intense Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb screaming, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the intense name of Jade.

Jade

Victor(ia)s are pretty self-centered. You like a Nalgene that reminds you of yourself, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb and look directly at a mirror, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the vain name of Victoria.

Victor(ia)

Zayns are pretty Cali. You like Cali Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb eating avocado toast and In-N-Out burgers, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the west coast name of Zayn.

Zayn

Gigis are pretty European. You like European Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb throwing shade at Americans, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the European name of Gigi.

Gigi

Kendalls are pretty Cali. You like Cali Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb eating avocado toast and In-N-Out burgers, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the west coast name of Kendall.

Kendall

Kylies are pretty Cali. You like Cali Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb eating avocado toast and In-N-Out burgers, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the west coast name of Kylie.

Kylie

Roberts are bougie. You like bougie Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming bouginess, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the bougie name of Robert.

Robert

Kais are bougie. You like bougie Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming bouginess, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the bougie name of Kai.

Lees are bougie. You like bougie Nalgenes, so it's no doubt that your first child is going to come out of the womb figuratively screaming bouginess, and you're thus going to give your firstborn the bougie name of Lee.

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Build Your Dream Nalgene And We'll Tell You The Name Of Your Firstborn

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