1. When you see couples doing intense PDA: "That's not cute. No one wants to see you dry humping your girlfriend in public!"
2. To all those couples who post way too much on Facebook about their relationship: "We get it! You're in love! You guys are the reason why I hate people."
3. When you see people on social media rant about politics: "I wish you would keep your opinions to yourself."
4. In response to that random stranger who pissed you off on your commute to work: "I want to rip your head off!"
5. When Thursday arrives and you have to deal with all the annoying Throwback Thursday posts: "Stop posting pictures of yourself from 20 years ago. We all know you don't look like that."
6. To that one infuriating friend who just doesn't get the social cues: "I don't want to be friends with you anymore!"
7. When someone asks how your day is going: "Can you just leave me alone?"
8. When your ex texts you: "I don't care how you're doing!"
9. When you see a friend perform in a show and they can't act to save their life: "That was the worst acting I've ever seen. Kirsten Stewart is better than you."
10. When you're invited to a friends house for dinner and their cooking is horrendous: "Next time just order a pizza."
11. When you're stuck listening to people talk about how good their lives are in comparison to yours: "What happened to you as a child to make you so horrible?"
12. When you see someone post a picture of what they're wearing on Instagram: "That outfit makes it look like a drunk clown dressed you."
13. When someone posts 10+ selfies a day all over social media: "You're really insecure, aren't you?"
14. When you see someone attractive in public: "Excuse me, I want to have your babies."
15. When you're shopping for groceries and a child won't stop screaming: "Your kid needs a muzzle."
16. When you had to deal with being ignored by all the popular kids in high school: "College is going to ruin you."
17. When someone asks you for a favor: "Absolutely not."
18. When you come home after a long day at work and your roommate is in the living room: "I was really hoping you were gone because I wanted the apartment to myself for once."
19. When they mess up your order at a restaurant: "One job. You had one job!"
20. When your boss is making crazy demands out of the blue: "Was making me want to pull my hair out part of your job description, or...?"
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