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It’s not about escaping fate or changing our destiny, but learning how to distinguish between the distractions that cause perplexity and moving forward to claim the ultimate jewel. Many prospectors have died in the search of their life long goal because of other insignificant gems that clogged their vision to proceed forward to the final trophy.

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We tend to encourage ourselves that we have made the right choice and very often succeed in over throwing our own thoughts. We change what we were so sure about that we wanted in our partner and say that we were being unrealistic. By following these steps you can skip the enticing distractions and go straight to finding your treasured soul mate.

Step 1: FORGET THE AGE OLD SAYING OF OPPOSITES ATTRACTS.Opposites attract, but we are humans and not magnets. Conflict is caused by a difference in opinion, feelings and interest. Everyone can compromise, but till what point. We cannot compromise to a point where it causes us to change who we are. Compromising who we are and what makes us happy by changing completely, can lead to temporary peace, happiness and even love, but will soon take you to resentment and unquenchable conflict.

Step 2: RECONSIDER THE PLACE YOU FIND YOUR DATESMost commonly people tend to find a date in a bar or some club. These places cannot be considered as a natural everyday situation. Everyone’s attitude and mood is different to what it would be in an ordinary day of their life. Places where you are yourself, this not only including your highs, say a lot about a person. So to use an extreme example: If a complete nature lover is looking for someone to approach in a bar, they would approach the person that attracts them the most physically. Then they will possibly continue with some conversation and this could lead to another date. First dates are usually standardized, the usual dinner and movie. Then a few dates later, they go on a hike. While the one is having the time of their life, the other is regretting even meeting you, while still having to keep a pose.So the bottom line is skip the bar dating and meet someone at places that are part of your daily life. A place where you are truly yourself, a place where you have fun and place that you won’t just give up for anybody.

Step 3: NEVER GO ON A GUILTY OR PITY DATEHave you ever told yourself that you will just go on one date? That he/she really likes me and I feel too bad to say no. Or you were rude to the person years ago and feel that you owe them at least a date. The effect these people have on you only gets stronger. The guilt trips never stop and they just continue with their self-pity. By the time you start to realize it has always been pity and not love, it’s too late. Only go out with someone you really want to.

Step 4: STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT IT WILL GET BETTERTo put it plainly, something that bothers you or irritates you now will definitely continue to do so in the future and the aggravation will only grow stronger. If the person treats you in a manner that makes you uncomfortable or upsets you in any way, don’t tell yourself that they will change. They have had plenty of years to mould who they are today, that’s not just going to change because you want it to. Find the right person for you, don’t try to create one.

Step 5: DON’T LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONSDefinitely be realistic, but never under-priced. You know what you want and what you deserve, don’t settle for second best. You don’t need to explain your choices to anyone, if they think the person they want you to be with is so great, they should date them. You may always wonder what you could have had and you will be deeply unsatisfied. Some may see it as particular, but to find your perfect match you need to follow your own criteria.By following your own map on the road to finding your hearts treasure will ensure that you find your life partner and not misconceive a stone in your path for your diamond, never to be found.

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