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"Hey Arnold" Shows Us How Sad Thanksgiving In The Closet Can Be

One of TV's darkest turkey day tales.

Everyone knows Hey Arnold is the greatest cartoon of all time.

But there are some things that went way over your head in the '90s.

Like what Arnold's effeminate, theatre-directing math teacher, Mr. Simmons was really all about.

The show's Thanksgiving episode gives us a closer look at Mr. Simmons' home life.

Sick of their own families' attitudes about turkey day, Helga and Arnold decide to crash Mr. Simmons' Thanksgiving.

Inside is Mr. Simmons' family:

As soon as they're all seated, Pearl says to no one in particular, "I didn't know Peter was coming today." Peter quickly fires back:

And so begins an awkward in-the-closet Thanksgiving which immediately seems like a total mess.

Pearl suggests her son should take Joy to the ballet that weekend in an obvious attempt at getting them together. Simmons says he loves the ballet without realizing her intentions.

Peter starts twirling his wine and throwing shade around the table, like when Joy says she lost her job.

Pearl gets sick of it and asks Peter to stop, which leads him to make a crack at her weight:

It's so tense that no one wants to go around the table and say what they're thankful for. A fight ensues.

Simmons is upset.

But he explains to Arnold that even though his Thanksgiving is dysfunctional, he's in a room with people he loves and that's all that matters.