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The 9 Biggest Winners On The Internet

Now that Tosh is back, maybe these champions will finally get the exposure they deserve. Catch all new episodes of Tosh.0, Tuesdays at 10E/7P only on Much.

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The pride of Knox City, Texas crushes cans... and hearts.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

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...and goodbye to the myth that with enough autotuning, anyone can sound on-key.

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I'd point out which one it is, but I wouldn't want to be a dildo about it.

4. What's better than girls falling off skateboards?

How about girls falling off skateboards in an infinite loop?

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First of all, you probably didn't get the mass text because you're 25 and still hanging around a high school.

Fun fact: Tay Allyn is what we call a double-threat. She can act, too! She played someone who didn't know she was pregnant in I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Tay, what can't you do (besides receive mass texts)?

6. Paging Tosh.0... and Child Services.
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Update: Man escaped. Penis still in custody.

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It's tempting to think of a panicked bald eagle soaring through a loud megachurch as a perfect metaphor for the United States, but on the other hand... actually no, go ahead and think of it as a metaphor.