back to top

11 Reasons Why Ancient Greece Was Exactly Like "Geordie Shore"

Just a bunch of lads and lasses shagging and fighting from Tyneside to old Corinth.

Posted on

1. Charlotte is basically just Hedylogos, the god of sweet talk and flattery.

Remember that time Charlotte said Marnie was "a massive flirty slag with really long, confusing hair"? It was just like that.
Lena_graphics / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Remember that time Charlotte said Marnie was "a massive flirty slag with really long, confusing hair"? It was just like that.

2. Everyone was fighting. Constantly.

MTV

Like, all the time. Always kicking off – only the Greeks were fighting over ancient territorial advantage, and the Geordies were fighting over who saw... Actually, it's exactly the same.

3. They never stopped banging.

The Greeks had a pretty right-on attitude when it came to sex – sex without labels; sex with everybody, all the time – and the same goes in Newcastle. Those lot have a passion for tashing. (Although, tbf, the Greeks got a bit...weird. Like, there's the one myth where Leda gets off with a swan who is actually Zeus in disguise and everything.)
Tonybaggett / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

The Greeks had a pretty right-on attitude when it came to sex – sex without labels; sex with everybody, all the time – and the same goes in Newcastle. Those lot have a passion for tashing.

(Although, tbf, the Greeks got a bit...weird. Like, there's the one myth where Leda gets off with a swan who is actually Zeus in disguise and everything.)

4. They were all good value for a quote.

MTV

Plato, Socrates, Charlotte-Letitia Crosby. Greatest philosophers in history. In that order.

5. Everyone was totally ripped.

The Geordie Shore lads like nothing better than a quick pump-up before a night out, and have you seen those Greeks? Could grate cheese on those abs.
Photos.com / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

The Geordie Shore lads like nothing better than a quick pump-up before a night out, and have you seen those Greeks? Could grate cheese on those abs.

6. The feuds were epic.

The Greeks versus the Trojans, or Gaz versus literally everyone? They'll sing songs of Gaz's battles one day.
MTV

The Greeks versus the Trojans, or Gaz versus literally everyone? They'll sing songs of Gaz's battles one day.

7. None of them are very trustworthy.

You know like how Marnie came into the house in Season 10 and had a boyfriend and then cheated on him with Aaron? Dude, that is such a Medea move. She betrayed her father (whom she wasn't boning, IIRC) and helped Jason steal a golden fleece to claim his throne. PLUS she also murdered HER OWN BROTHER to distract her dad so Jason could escape. Dang.
Dance60 / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

You know like how Marnie came into the house in Season 10 and had a boyfriend and then cheated on him with Aaron? Dude, that is such a Medea move. She betrayed her father (whom she wasn't boning, IIRC) and helped Jason steal a golden fleece to claim his throne. PLUS she also murdered HER OWN BROTHER to distract her dad so Jason could escape.

Dang.

8. Everyone was practically naked all of the time.

I think the overall lesson here is simple: Clothes fucking suck.
MTV

I think the overall lesson here is simple: Clothes fucking suck.

9. They both liked alcohol. Like, A LOT.

Those Greeks even had Dionysus, the god of wine. (The Geordies have Holly Hagan, the god of wine with some vodka in it.)
Anthony Baggett / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

Those Greeks even had Dionysus, the god of wine. (The Geordies have Holly Hagan, the god of wine with some vodka in it.)

10. They've had to overcome some tough obstacles.

MTV

The Greeks had to stave off a constant threat of accession from Rome, whereas the lads? Well...

11. They are all ruled by an omnipotent and vengeful god.

The Greeks had Zeus, the quite weird, vindictive, bearded god of gods. The Geordies have Anna, the boss, constantly supplying them with alcohol and forcing them into tight corners of clubs with people they hate, all while the cameras watch on...
Hemera Technologies / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.co.uk

The Greeks had Zeus, the quite weird, vindictive, bearded god of gods. The Geordies have Anna, the boss, constantly supplying them with alcohol and forcing them into tight corners of clubs with people they hate, all while the cameras watch on...

Catch Geordie Shore: The Greek Odyssey, premiering Tuesday 20th Oct at 10pm, exclusively on MTV.