Girls Try To Answer 14 "Guy Code" Questions
Guys may have their own "code," but the ladies tell it like it is!
We asked girls to answer 14 questions from MTV2's Guy Code, and it was glorious.
1.
Aubree: The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Casey: I don't know your secrets, penis.
Cyndi: It'd be cool if it were paler because then we could call them ghost penises.
Andrea: This is a trick question. The penis is metaphorically dark, like Voldemort's wand.
Kim: Sorcery.
Emily: The inside of the vagina and anus both emit a chemical similar to the active ingredient in self-tanner. I know that sounds like a joke, but look it up.
[We looked it up. That's not a thing.]
2.
Cyndi: An anti-boner rally. A vagina party.
Casey: Playgrounds.
Leslie: Somewhere outside the groin area of your pants. 'Cause that would mean you have a penis on your armpit or on your knee or something.
Ashley: Can't guys just tuck 'em up into their underwear? Is that a thing? I wish I could do that.
Lily: Never awkward if you know how to conceal it.
3.
Lily: What would Don Draper do?
Emily S.: Make sure they're cool with it first, ya dick.
Kristin: Keep the number of women even, as odd is the devil's preference.
Isa: I mean, I'm dating multiple men at once, so let's not talk about it.
Aubree: An AREA code. If it's good enough for Ludacris, it's good enough for me.
Kristen: Date girls with different hair colors so you can easily tell them apart.
Tuni: "Don't Panic" - French Montana
4.
Alix: Binoculars from afar.
Jen: Porn. Or National Geographic.
Ashley: There isn't. We always know.
Emily S.: Wait until she's doing a dick peek.
Kristin: Start at the base of Mt. Boob, and bring energy-sustaining snacks.
Aubree: If you gotta sneak, you weak.
5.
Mandy: Good bone structure but bad teeth, a girlfriend, and a startup T-shirt.
Julie: Knowing when and how to leave the conversation without winking and saying something douchey.
Andrea: Be Jonah Hill in a movie.
Cyndi: Top Gun quotes and cool secret handshakes, IDK.
Jen: A non-threatening amount of chest hair.
Kristin: Hollow bones.
6.
Mandy: Ask a drag queen to teach you to "tuck."
Kristin: Keep them in a glass menagerie, with those figurines that you have.
Alix: Kiss them and tell them they're beautiful every day. Make them tiny fedoras to protect their little heads.
Leslie: Let them soak in mayonnaise for a few hours. This will at least keep your pubic hair pristine.
Emily: "Nationwide is on your side."
7.
Aubree: Pillow.
Casey: Circling each other with your dicks out in a wrestling ring.
Mandy: In the comments section.
Leslie: Anything goes as long as the fight is over something important, like stealing someone's French fries.
Emily: Old-school fisticuffs. Classy as fuck.
Kristin: Blind, and thumbless.
8.
Emily C.: "Let it go. Let it gooooo."
Emily S.: Yes! You'll 100% always feel better. Say it with me: Puke and rally.
Tuni: Never.
Lily: Always.
Kim: To quote Wayne Campbell, "If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours."
9.
Casey: Make her some goddamn breakfast.
Jana: Have sex again, then drop the mic (bring a mic with you for this purpose).
Mandy: Brush your teeth and tell her how pretty she looks, even if she looks like Danny DeVito in the morning.
Alix: Leave as quickly as possible before the beer farts hit you (and her).
Ashley: Definitely don't slip out while she's sleeping. Not that that's happened to me. (That's happened to me.)
Aubree: Bone 'em if you got 'em.
10.
Jen: Seriously, dude, just call it your hand.
Casey: "Can" you? I don't know, can you? MAY you? Yes.
Andrea: Yes, but you have to ensure that you're both repulsed by each other.
Tory: Yes, but you definitely have had at least one non-platonic thought about her over the course of your relationship.
Emily: Yeah. I mean, it's not going to be ME, but yeah.
Leslie: I hear tectonic girlfriends are much better.
11.
Andrea: Please do not.
Leslie: Sure! If your girl is, like, a plant, or a sink, or a towel — just not if she is a person.
Ashley: I mean, no. But, how badly do you have to go? Like, are you gonna be sick? I don't want you to be sick. Is it an emergency?
Kristin: Do whatever the bears do.
Aubree: Not unless she's into that.
Tuni: That's how you know she's the one.
12.
Emily: Any of them. Men have tear ducts and emotions, and SPCA commercials are manipulative as fuck.
Mandy: War movies and movies where the dog dies. Otherwise you have no soul.
Kristin: Spy Kids 1, Spy Kids 2, and Spy Kids 4.
Lily: Homeward Bound.
Andrea: The Annie remake. That movie was really bad.
13.
Alix: Lies and oral.
Mandy: A tragic backstory.
Kristen: Just be yourself, be considerate.
Tara: No matter what, make sure she comes first.
Jess: 1) Give great head; 2) When you grab her neck, you touch her soul; and 3) Make her cum first.
Kim: Go easy on the trick moves. This is not the circus.
14.
Alix: Lies and oral.
Cyndi: She takes off her glasses and swishes the ponytail out of her hair, and then you kiss.
Aubree: When she drinks you under the table, puts you to bed, and wakes you up with pizza.
Leslie: When you accidentally hear her poop, but still feel butterflies when she victoriously comes out of the bathroom.
Jen: When you meet someone with the name "Oracle," or "Supreme Wizard," or "Ultimate Destiny," or "Sarah."
Isa: LOL ask me in 10 years.
The ladies have spoken. Tune in to MTV2's Guy Code, Wednesdays at 11/10c, to see what the guys have to say!
