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18 "No Sex Tonight" Excuses Ranked By Effectiveness

Sometimes putting it off is a little awkward. But putting off your first time demands some serious rationale. Meet 15 people who are really committed to saying "not tonight" on MTV's Virgin Territory, Wednesdays at 11/10c.

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1. "Actually, I'm just not in the mood."


Pro: It's the most honest answer. Everything beneath this is hogwash.

Con: No con. If you don't want to, just say it.

2. "My stomach is making weird noises."


Pro: If it's legit, it's an immediate deal breaker. No one wants to be a part of that.

Con: It's not the sexiest thing to discuss, and you can only use this excuse sparingly.

3. "I don't want to get you sick."

Pro: It's just gross enough to work.

Con: They know how often you call in fake-sick to work.

4. "It's not a good lady time."

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Pro: It's pretty inarguable.

Con: Whatever, can we just not talk about it?

5. "I drank too much."

VH1 / Via

Pro: It's very responsible of you to admit.

Con: It didn't stop you last week.

6. "I'm really stressed about work."

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Pro: It's realistic, and probably honest.

Con: The auto-response is, "Let me take your mind off a few things."

7. "But I just took a shower."

Pro: It's simple, and you probably have a fresh scent of evidence.

Con: It's sexy.

8. "That movie put me in a weird mood."

Rockstar Games / Via

Pro: It's so fake, it's basically real.

Con: Definitely fake.

9. "Err... I just cleaned the sheets."

Pro: We all understand the struggle.

Con: It's lazy. Sad, even.

10. "Why don't we just cuddle?"


Pro: Awww that's cute.

Con: Wait, what?

11. "Someone might hear us."


Pro: Involving others raises the legitimacy of the claim.

Con: It really only works when you're sleeping in your childhood bed.

12. "I'm so down on myself, I'm worried I might screw this up too. :("


Pro: Your self-deprecation will be an effective turn-off.

Con: Your partner will think sex will boost your confidence.

13. "I already took out my contacts."

Pro: They certainly don't want you getting lost down there.

Con: Who has sex with their eyes open?

14. "It sounds weird — but I think I'm too turned on to do it right now."


Pro: Lots of flattery.

Con: Lots of follow-up questions.

15. "I'd rather just talk instead."

Pro: It proves that you don't want to just hit it and quit it.

Con: You'll probably end up both talking and having sex.

16. "I'm too tired."

Pro: We've all actually been there, so it's believable.

Con: "Too tired"? Too easy.

17. "You're too tired."


Pro: By turning the tables on them, you avoid blame.

Con: To compensate, they'll probably show some extra-horny energy.

18. "I think Mercury's in retrograde."

Pro: It's oddly romantic.

Con: It's a joke... right?

Watch the "Should I? Shouldn't I?" drama on MTV's Virgin Territory, Wednesdays at 11/10c.

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