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Santa Hates Santa Con Even More Than You Do

Because there's only one St. Nick and it's not the guy puking on that curb.

Every year, around this time, something awful happens....something vulgar...something blasphemous.

People dress up in my likeness, WITHOUT permission...

They imbibe and make fools of themselves (and ME) IN PUBLIC.

It's called Santacon and it makes me want to cry.

(This is not me.)

(Also not me.)

There is no excuse for this.

Look, I'm fine with this behavior but MUST you drag my good name along with it??

My PR team has enough of a hard time AS IT IS without images like this circulating around.

Santacon has been the cause of the 70% rise of children crying when they see me.

Honestly, I don't blame them. This is terrifying.

So before you put on that beard and your red suit...think about who you're hurting.

Me. You're hurting me.

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