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Santa Hates Santa Con Even More Than You Do

Because there's only one St. Nick and it's not the guy puking on that curb.

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Every year, around this time, something awful happens....something vulgar...something blasphemous.

People dress up in my likeness, WITHOUT permission...

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They imbibe and make fools of themselves (and ME) IN PUBLIC.

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It's called Santacon and it makes me want to cry.

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(Also not me.)

Creative Commons / They imbibe and make fools of themselves. IN PUBLIC.

There is no excuse for this.

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Look, I'm fine with this behavior but MUST you drag my good name along with it??

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My PR team has enough of a hard time AS IT IS without images like this circulating around.

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Santacon has been the cause of the 70% rise of children crying when they see me.

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Honestly, I don't blame them. This is terrifying.

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So before you put on that beard and your red suit...think about who you're hurting.

WHO WAVES LIKE THIS? It's creepy and it's not me.
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WHO WAVES LIKE THIS? It's creepy and it's not me.

Me. You're hurting me.

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I just wanted to be invited.

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