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Why "Bring It On" Is The Best Movie In The Whole Wide World

"Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."

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Because it brings us back to a time when hairstyles had no limitations.

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Also, what's up, choker necklace.

When the one-strap backpack look was considered cool.

If you didn't do this, don't even talk to me.
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If you didn't do this, don't even talk to me.

And when everyone high-fived each other.

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Whether it was to acknowledge an outstanding "LOSERsneeze."

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Or because you just told a guy to "malignant THIS" whilst grabbing your junk.

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What a sick burn that was.

Because the soundtrack is great.

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And makes you want to jump up on your bed and start dancing.

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Or roll around on the floor and play the guitar.

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Because the sexual undertones were plentiful.

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Sparky Motherfucking Polastri.

And actually kind of raunchy.

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I mean, just look at how she washes this car antenna.

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And how erotic this stretching scene is.

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(Look at the background.)

And this is most definitely a lap dance.

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(OK, she's not technically in his lap, but you get the idea.)

But when you really strip it down, you realize it's actually full of great life lessons.

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Like if you want something, you have to take it.

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And that sometimes you just have to do it yourself.

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Because it's not about luck.

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Or a curse.

It's about hard work.

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Shout out to the training montage!

And owning the moment.

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And when that moment comes, you better bring it.

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But it also taught us that it's OK to be different.

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And that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

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Because when everyone's doing the same thing...

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...something different is usually the way to go.

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Plus it taught us what a "Wolf Wall" is.

It is apparently this.
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It is apparently this.

And that an adult-sized swing set is real.

And still on my list of things I need.
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And still on my list of things I need.

But more importantly, it introduced us to "spirit fingers."

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Daytime talk show host Pauletta.

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Cliff Pantone, the thinking man's rocker.

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And dat ass.

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And if you don't agree with me, I don't care.

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"La Freeeeeed"

In fact, that's all right, that's OK...

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Because I'm the cheertator and I'm overruling you.

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Bitch.

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