1. Meet Chris Perez.
2. He’s a closer for the Cleveland Indians. He’s pretty decent, but he happens to have a few, umm, quirks?
3. For instance, he has now blown a save in three consecutive years on August 5th.
4. 2011: Gives up two runs in the bottom of the 9th.
5. 2012: Gives up five runs in the bottom of the 10th.
6. 2013: Gives up four runs in the top of the 9th.
7. Even when he does record a save, he still manages to blow it.
8. And by “blow it,” I mean “puke all over the place,” like he did last June.
9. And let’s not forget about that time he mailed marijuana to his home using his dog’s name.
Yep, that actually happened. Back in June, Chris and his wife were charged with misdemeanor drug possession after an undercover cop delivered a package of marijuana that was originally addressed to their dog Brody.
11. So I guess if you had to summarize Chris Perez in one phrase, it would be…
12. At least when it comes to August 5 and the month of June. The rest of the time, he’s perfectly fine.
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