After spending one miserable season with the Los Angeles Lakers, Dwight Howard is now a free agent, and among the teams interested in signing him are the Houston Rockets. While other teams have used a variety of marketing techniques to attract Howard, no other city or franchise can match what rapper and Houston native Slim Thug is doing. Take a look:
He understands the importance of including cost-of-living adjustments in financial projections.
Especially as they apply to the markets in real estate and hoes.
He's familiar with the subtleties of state-level alimony statues.
Plus, he's already introducing Dwight to new people! They are booty models.
And new places. (Strip clubs.)
There's also this, which is too depressing to even make a joke about!
The funny part of all this? Dwight Howard is 27. He's probably just as interested in texting, girls, money, cheap mansions and champagne than he is in all the stuff teams are pitching him on in his REAL meetings.