Meet Mario Balotelli.
November 2008: Becomes the youngest Inter Milan player to score in the Champions League.
November 2008: Accuses his biological parents of "glory hunting."
March 2010: During an interview, Balotelli pulls on an AC Milan shirt (a cross-town rival at the time).
April 2010: Commits "public suicide."
August 2010: Crashes his Audi R8 on his way to the club's training ground.
October 2010: Trespasses into a women's prison.
December 2010: Wins the Golden Boy Award.
March 2011: Has an allergic reaction to grass.
March 2011: Is unable to put on practice bib.
March 2011: Throws darts out a window at some kids.
April 2011: Donates money to help construct a secondary school for Sudanese children.
April 2011: Has his Maserati taken away.
May 2011: Bails on Man City's FA Cup parade and celebrations.
May 2011: Slapped in the face for flirting with a woman.
July 2011: Is benched after trying to convert a trick shot during a match.
Unknown: Mom sends him to get an ironing board and he comes back with a quad bike, an electric car racing game, and a trampoline.
August 2011: Caught sparring with a practice dummy.
September 2011: Testifies at a mafia trial.
October 2011: Accidentally lights his house on fire by setting off fireworks indoors.
October 2011: Becomes Manchester's ambassador for fire safety.
November 2011: Becomes the first black player to score for the Italian national team.
December 2011: Breaks club curfew after spending the night with fans.
January 2012: Ranked No.2 on GQ's list of Best-Dressed Men in Britain.
January 2012: Banned four games for stomping on opponent's head.
Unknown: Hires a street magician to teach him magic.
March 2012: Crashes the press conference of his former team's new head coach.
November 2012: Opens up about racial prejudice in sports.
April 2013: Ranked Among Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People
May 2013: Takes his brand new Ferrari 458 on a go-kart track.
Under his new contract, Balotelli is specifically not allowed to get behind the wheel of a go-kart. No one really knows why this restriction exists, but his love of go-karting first became public when he built a track in his home garden while with Manchester City. Fortunately for Balo, there was a loophole in the contract.
And to think, this man is just hitting his prime. One can only imagine what he'll do next.